The Cats with Guns Post

Alright... today I thought I would do a little post for all the cat people out there.... 

...but with a terrifying spin!

So.... I proudly present today...
The Cats With Guns Post!!

I know what your saying....
Finally right?!

Well to be honest...
 I have actually long wanted to out these furry little demon creatures for what they really are....

Cold blooded killers!!!

Yep..

Now I know many of you find cats adorable....

But I'm here to say "Please do not buy into their cuteness!"

Why?

Well lately these monsters are being trained to KILL......

By who you ask?

Well only the most ruthless of terrorists...
 (who may coincidentally also enjoy cuddling)....
but that's not the point...

You see.... cats have been buying their time for years!
Taking naps..... playing with string....
But also sharpening their claws....

...probably on your favorite furniture!!

And they have been..... 

..."testing the exits!"

Oh and trust me...
They are ready to....

Pounce!!!

Yep cats have just turned mean....

Gone are the fun days where you could dip your cat in Easter egg dye.....

And play dress up with your little fluffball.

Or maybe buy the perfect costume.....

To embarrass... 
er... 
....parade your little fur monster around in public!

Really back in the day...

 As long as you had enough paint.....

...cats would let you do anything you wanted to them!!

Well not anymore...
These furry little "catnip junkies" have had enough...
And guess what..... according to the internet...
They have been learning about firearms??

And they are ready to fight!

But who is training them?
Well my research uncovered this lady...
The Baroness of Cats....
And not only does she think she's a cat...
 Shes actually as mean as them....

And "got some serious issues" according to an ex I spoke with.
But whatever...

Oh and heres here toilet!!!

And kittys hungry!!!!
Um.....
 I dont know how else you expected me to weave this cat toilet to this cat story...
Im not proud of this joke...
Lets just move on....

Back to cats and......

GRENADES even!!
Dear god!!

Yep cats are skilled with all kinds of weaponry these days....
Learning from cat grenade afficianado....


This guy....

Who is currently serving time with his lioness in prison!!!

And in a blog exclusive...
I have uncovered knowledge that cats have been training in the art of CAMOUFLAGE.....

Under this guy.... 

Who is clearly recognized as a "master" in blending in wherever he goes.....

And the cats are getting crazy good....
For example....

Here

And here

And here....



And trust me he is there....
The tabby cat is in front of the stones on the right....


And then finally here........

....

...
...
...
Alright....
 So there's not really a cat in that last picture...
But their friggin could be for all we know!!!

And that's my point?
Cats are sneaky and dangerous......

And so I guess...
Consider yourself warned....

And before I go...
And also on a similar dangerous animal level....
Allow me to warn you about birds....
Cause birds as Im finding out....

Are turning people into poorly dressed zombie-like humans!!!
I mean... why else would you go out in public like that?
But I guess.... that's for a whole other post...

And until then
Blog ya'll later!

The Drive Thru Post

Welcome back everyone...
Today we are gonna talk about the drive thru.

Something we all know....

Something many of us even love...

This guy knows what Im talking about!!

Well.... in fact... 
The "drive thru" is a love affair that for many of us...
... started at a very early age...
Yep...
Cant you remember back to your very first drive thru toy!!

Like this one...
That perfect "learning toy" for ages 3 to 5...
or... maybe...
... for that mid thirties unemployed "professional gamer" 
crazy ass uncle living in your basement.... 
For him...it was just the perfect kinda job training tool!

Anyways....
If I am honest I occasional enjoy a drive thru meal....
Especially on a really hot day....
When I just need some food... 
and maybe a little something to cool off with...

Its often so so refreshing!!! 

Whatever...
You see for me...
While the drive thru experience is definitely all about getting the food you want fast.

As I found out...
Its actually about HOW you get there that counts too...

Be it horse....

Or unicycle...

Or maybe your "rascal"...

Or maybe even that Halloween costume prop you spent WAY to much time on...

Or this...
Which is my absolute favorite...

The getaway car?
Man that's always memorable!!

But wait...
I know what you are thinking?
What if you are feeling to lazy to actually find a vehicle to take yourself through the drive thru?
Or maybe you dont feel like driving at all......

Well just have a buddy "throw your ass" in the back of a wagon??
Perfect!!

Now... as we know..
Drive thrus are clearly everywhere...
And you never have to go very far to find one...
But if you are ever having trouble finding a really "quality" one...
Here's my tip...


Just carefully read their SIGNS...
That's it..
Really closely.....
Cause truthfully what I have found is...

Its amazing how accurate they can be!

But lets move past food as the only kinda drive thru shall we?
Cause I found some other amazing drive thrus...

Obviously there's the...

Wedding drive thru... Always so romantic!

And then there's this gem....
And this is 100% real...
The STRIP CLUB drive thru???
What?

Yep its called Climax???
Classy!
.....in Congruity, Pennsylvania??
Wow!!

Um... lets move on...
There's this one...

The "pharmacy refilled my medication wrong" drive thru.

And then there's these...
The best two drive thrus ever...
The...

....drive thru church?
Way to go Daytona Florida!!
Now in their defense... I will tell you...
you haven't ever really lived to you have heard...
...their "engine revving" version of the Hallelujah chorus!!

And then finally this....
The best ever...

The Drive Through Funeral Parlor!!!

Which... is absolutely real!!
And remember.... the next time you are at one of these...
ALWAYS double tap your horn in respect for the deceased!
Its just the right thing to do.

And on that note??
(Beep Beep uncle Joe)
And blog ya'll later