The Best Carved Pumpkins On The Internet

Welcome back to the blog everybody. I thought that today, in keeping with the October post theme, we could discuss carving pumpkins. You see each year I normally go to a friends pumpkin carving party... People eat, drink, carve pumpkins... then often things get a little weird...... (but I think that's just where the bar is set for a quality pumpkin carving party these days ....right?) 

Anyways.... sadly the party's not happening this year..... my friend is taking a year off (Still paying off his public indecency tickets I assume) Well.... I guess that means I will be carving at home......  But what to carve? 


Hmm.... Well lets everybody grab our favorite choice of carving tools and find out together  ...shall we?


Lets get started.... Now call me a pumpkin whisperer if you'd like ....But personally I like to let my own overgrown orange squash kinda tell me what it wants to be carved into......how? Well by spending some time with it before I carve. Studying its shape..... Really looking it up and down.... I just find the best ideas come to me that way.... 

But careful!!!!  Don't spend too much time with it!
Cause that gets kinda uncomfortable for everyone?

Moving on.....  Now I'm assuming you spent some one on one time with your pumpkin... and for the sake of this post..... You still dont know what to carve.... well allow me share with you ....  a couple home-run pumpkin ideas....

First off lets start with maybe a traditional Halloween scene... 
like maybe a cemetery?

or maybe you could carve a skull? A personal favorite!

or maybe you are a nerd.... er.... into comics and virginity? Well why not try your hand on a superhero pumpkin?

or maybe a death star pumpkin...which is pretty freekin awesome!!!!

or maybe.... what about a political pumpkin? So cool... Though studies do show only about 46% of people enjoy this pumpkin these days.

What else.... what about trying an underwater pumpkin?

It's much less cruel than the other "Water pumpkins" people are carving this year.... sickos!!

or are you a gamer? But you haven't "leveled up"  enough to carve a 3D World of Warcraft pumpkin yet....
 Well the Tetris pumpkin might be perfect for you...

or maybe you should carve yourself something functional....
like a boat?

Really.....  there are so many great pumpkins out there that.. wait!!!!
 I know what you all are really wanting.......  you are inevitably just waiting for the naughtiest pumpkin photos ......right? .....dirty pumpkins?  Well shame on you....... Cause I'm not gonna do that here.

Without some sort of warning.... I'm not a monster!
However.... in truth if I think about it...... it is the internet.... and most likely not even close to the worst thing most young pumpkin carvers Googled today! ..... so whatever.... read on.... 
you little nightmares! Read on!  

So lets start with this.... the mudflaps lady... not too bad. 

and then we have the old butt-crack pumpkin...

Then there's this one... entitled "My ex-girlfriend pumpkin"....  The artist carved it entirely from his memory...  Side note- Her new boyfriend reviewed this pumpkin as "Shockingly accurate!"

Then we have the pumpkin wearing costume guys.... 
though apparently these required much less carving than they'd like you to think... 

Sticking with that same theme.... we have the regrettable 
Jack O' Lantern pumpkin series?

And then I found this....  who some call "The best way to warn a new lover without really having to say anything" pumpkin.... 




But whatever... After so much searching... I finally arrived at the four worst pumpkins I found........ enjoy?

The "helping someone pick something up they dropped pumpkin"!!! So bad for your back!!

 

Followed by the constipated pumpkin ... I don't really have a funny joke here... but come on... its a pumpkin on a pumpkin toilet! That's gotta count right?
 

Then there's the ..... wait.... "That's NOT a pumpkin" pumpkin! A favorite of crazy uncles everywhere...

and finally for me.... it's the samurai pumpkin.

"The Samurai Pumpkin"
Man these guys are great.... They then went on to take the classic photo " The Samurai Orange"
.... yet sadly once again guys.... we are all so sorry for your loss!

and on that note... lets pull the plug on this .... I think this post may have been in poor judgement all along.... and personally I blame the pumpkin below for that..

The beer pumpkin.... 

So cheers everybody....... wherever you are ... 

 I will most definitely blog ya'll later!