The How To... And More How NOT To Move Post

I am officially having one of those weeks.....
A lot is going on.....
Too much really...
So I am gonna be brief today...


You see I am busy moving.....
Packing up the car...
Clearing out the shed....

And conveniently.... somehow combining both those things?

Whatever...
You see to be honest ...  
I'm not someone who needs to pack all neat and organized.
No way....

Im more of a  "lets just get this nightmare done" kinda packer...
Probably like this fellow "time-efficient packer".

Cause after many moves in my life....
the key to a good move is....
just getting it over with!

No matter what it takes....

Cause really if you think about it ....
 You can always finish that load of laundry at the new place.....

So just get it done is what I always tell myself. 
Seriously!
 And pack as much as you freekin can...

Then move it all.
Now.... I think we all should remember....
that packing is really just a game of BALANCE!
So in order to get ready for your big move....

Maybe play some jenga or something the day before the move....

Practice your balance.....

Practice at lunch..... 

Practice under extreme circumstances.

Practice on the dog.... with his dog treats... 
He probably wont like this.... but come on hes a dog!
What else is he gonna be doing?

Or just plain practice with your lover.... which is highly recommended...
Though not at all what the Hasbro corporation had in mind when creating "a family friendly block game!"

Man how did we get so far off track?
Oh ya packing.....
And balance.....
And moving....
Right.... lets get back to it....

Shall we?

 Now obviously no matter how well you pack...... sometimes things can and will go wrong....

For example... maybe you attract some unwanted attention.....

Well its like I always say
 "just calmly tuck the legs back inside the trunk"
And you'll be fine...

Oh here's the bonus helpful moving tip of the day!!!

(Use rugs next time on the bodies dummy!!!!)

Thats what this guy did.....
And reviewed it as "Really really not bike-friendly"

But whatever..... maybe your not like me...
And you are more of a planner...
Maybe you even rented movers?

But.... the move still doesn't go quite as planned?

And the movers don't end up "providing the service" they advertized!

Maybe its all just become a total disaster....

Well their really is only one answer.......
Cause this is your move....


You need to take things back into your own hands.....
And fix this....


You need to "get this move over stupid!!!"
Well.....


I strongly recommend this.....
And its brilliant.....
You simply need to...

Stack your crap even higher!!!!

Seriously!!! 
Get the whole move done
 in one single "hope for no wind" kinda trip!

And everything will turn out fine!

Trust me.

 I promise!

And you'll see..... the whole family will thank you!

 Even the baby....

Anyways I'm off to pack the couch on the other couch on the chair on the table on the...


blog ya'll later

The Furniture War

All right lets get right to it shall we?
You see.... moving day is fast approaching for me....
So the lady and I.....  have been spending  time "going through each of our our worldy possessions" ......


It seems we might have too much stuff to bring everything on over to the new place? 
And ... according to my lady.... some of our old stuff might just not work within the "new style" of place we are moving into?
Huh? I guess that makes sense?


So some stuff will make it.
Other stuff will sadly not!
I get it!


And you know... one positive thing about the old stuff that didn't make it is....

It'll be so much easier to move!

But whatever..... here's what I wanted to talk about...
You see yesterday.....  while relaxing.... 
Eating some take-out Chinese food....
Watching any one of those 18 different shows on Discovery Channel filmed in Alaska..... 
You know the shows... the ones staring men you wouldn't let anywhere near your children.
 (I think it was called Anchorage Dental Gold) 


Anyways THAT is when it all started!
It was when I was first informed that..... 
 My chair wasn't gonna fit with THE LOOK of the new place!
What?

My rhino chair???
How could this not make the cut.....I asked myself?

Oh but it didn't stop there.... Nope!
Also not making the cut was my beloved dresser....

She apparently found it "too aggressive?"

Also she found my book shelf .....

Quote....."Creepy at night!"
It was out too!!!

And she even wanted the "chair I had from college" gone...
Which really hurt...

...cause of all the wonderful and often "surprising" memories I made with that chair!

Now I must admit I was beginning to become angry. 
A pattern was developing. 
All my stuff was getting the axe. 


Well... two could play that game I thought....
So two did play that game!
And I quickly informed her that for me..... her lamp didn't make "my cut" either... and it needed to go!

First off I found it emasculating ....
and really didnt appreciate where they had chosen to put the on/off switch!

She countered by rejecting my table.....

Not my Star Trek table!!!

So I struck back..... and rejected her awful awful chandeliers!!!!!
Which I always hated!!

To this she quickly grew upset ....
And told me  "If I have to get rid of the only thing I have left  that reminds me of Carlos.... than your other stupid chair is gone too!!"
Wait I thought... who was Carlos... and dear god why did that chandelier remind her of him?

But I would never get that answer....
we went on to throw out piece after piece of furniture...

She would toss out one of my chairs...

And I would toss one of her weird mens ab chairs?

She would toss out my "hand crafted" wine cabinet...

And I would get rid of her weird Mermaid couch....

She would toss my Sumo table...

And I would toss her weird man-shelf?
Man I hated that thing!

And then....
Well then it happened.... we just plain ran out of furniture to eliminate...
And all was well again!
So we made up.... 
And discovered a nice "furniture compromise" on the set-up of our new place....

This one....

And thats where we are....
Furniture- less.... but happy!


Now the important thing was nobody won The Furniture War...
Though between you and me....  I did figure out a way to keep at least one piece of my furniture.... I just "modified it"...

And for that I proclaim myself
the winner!!!

Anyways enjoy your furniture everybody...
Cause you never know when a furniture war will find you!
And blog ya'll later!