Sunday, January 2, 2011

Resolution 10 of 10 To have some classy resolutions next year

Resolution 10..... Basically to have a really really successful fun and productive year. So much so that next year my resolutions might just look high class.....cause half way through the year people I'm gonna enter the rich upper crust.....wow.....I kinda always figured that would happen.... but so soon?......Oh well.... Here's a sample few of my potential rich people resolutions for 2012...


To eat less caviar....and foie gras......and truffles.......and Top Ramen Platinum Series


To finally get a good offer on my beach house this year so I can upgrade to a villa...right near the Baldwins


To be knighted this year....cause.....I'm wealthy.....and that's what happens to really wealthy people


To increase the size of my entourage....but with significantly less attractive people so I kinda "pop"


To diet....probably by cutting out the fourth course of each meal


To buy Americans....er ....I meant American


To complain a little less about not getting even more rich people tax cuts....I use that money to create jobs people.....anybody wanna go yacht shopping?


To have my bronze sculpture made less anatomically correct and more fitting of a man of my status


To star in a tv show about hiring someone to learn under me...gonna call it "The Subordinate"


To stay more connected with friends and family....mental note..... hire someone to handle that for me


To finally get my polar bear fur jacket made


To give back to my hometown......Baileyville.....so I bought the town so what....


To finally find a way to spend the rest of this government bailout money.... maybe another island....or another private plane or...... maybe I will give some to our lobbyists to use.......


To finally make it in to every room in my house this year

To finally get my keys to the secret rich people club where they....er.... we drink fine wine and eat baby bald eagle wings and discuss things like future pyramid schemes while watching our young ones play polo on Shetland ponies............


But overall to stay grounded....not to let my wealth go to my head........ better make sure the painter captures that humbleness in me....in my large oil painting self portrait.....should I be in the study by the fireplace or with the hounds and the hunting rifle?.......

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