Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Post #134 Cooking Show Post

People ......we have talked about how I love reality shows but....I seriously love cooking shows. And the funny thing is I can't and don't cook! I guess I'm fascinated by things I know one day I'm going to do. Its true. I plan on learning to cook one day ( save your ..."you must be really fascinated by that show Intervention" replies) don't PLAN on rehab!!!! I don't think?.......... moving on..... I love how often times when the contestants are asked what their cooking style is ....they say "I like to cook with lots of flavor" or " My culinary point of view is bold flavors"  Flavor!!!!! That's not a freakin' style. That's like asking a comedian "What style of comedy do you do?" um the funny kind! ........ or Mrs. Pornstar   "What kind of porn do you make?"....... um the daddy issues kind! come on people, let's think about our answers. Don't just point out the obvious. For example, if someone asked me what kind of cooking style I have, I would respond with......"Thanks for asking  Padma... I think we both know whats really cooking here... and it's not the food (pause for effect....  wink).... then Id say "my style of cooking is the breakfast in bed kind! You like?" You see - not hard. and don't even get me started on Iron Chef America. Some genius decided to make a cooking show but in a kitchen STADIUM with a play by play announcer. Sports and cooking together.... Does it get any better? The only better combo might be Sportscenter hosted by Victoria's Secret models....... makes me wonder what their catchphrases might be....."Drops back... throws it and Touchdown!!! Boy I haven't seen anyone score that easy since the last time I auditioned for that movie"......or "he jams it!!!...boy he really got up there... I haven't seen that kinda lift since the invention of the Wonderbra!" or my personal favorite model sportscaster saying "When the red light is on does that mean we are on the air? and I should talk or something?"...... Be honest with yourselves....You would watch!
P.S. this photo is here just because....uh....I dont get it?....what school must you attend that gets you prepared for this career choice? also....must suck cause bathroom breaks are out of the question and you better not need to sneeze or have had chili for lunch....or what if it wasn't what you do you send this back? "Um....we ordered the Siamese twin platter sir! Not the stripper with daddy issues second job platter!!!"
 Blog ya'll later.....

1 comment:

  1. Hilarious! The pictures make it so much more...meaningful?? Although, I'm starting to get worried about my place on this site...I used to be the pictures did I let you learn how to do this stuff by yourself??? It's OK though people, I'm still the only one with the SKILLS to put his head on random image to create the REAL comedy seen on this blog!!!