Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Star Whackers is real!!! Heres the proof you need....

Bruce Willis...........look out!!!!!

Dennis Quaid...... watch out behind you!!!!!

Lindsey Lohan............. dont go into the basement alone!!

Lady Gaga.... trust no one!!

Mel Gibson...... actually you can have him!!

The Star Whackers are coming for them!! And they are going to kill them! What? Who are the Star Whackers you ask? Well according to clinical nutjob or Randy Quaid to some, the Star Whackers are a real organization with one plan. Knocking off one celebrity at a time. Dead!!! And they exist.

According to Mr. Quaid recent victims include David Carradine, Michael Jackson, and Heath Ledger. With Mel Gibson, Lindsey Lohan, and both himself and Dennis Quaid on their hit list.This is freekin shocking!!  This is absolutely crazy!!!! So... here at my blog I absolutely had to get to the bottom of this and figure out how to ..... how to expose this evil group.  Heres 10 things you                            should know.

1. Randy Quaid and wife Evi fled to Canada to avoid becoming the Star Whackers latest victims. So smart of them. Everyone knows how hard it is to get in to Canada.. especially a secret group of people that nobody knows  about. They clearly could never get in.........ay.

2. And the group is broadening their hit list..cause mentioning Randy Quaid and the word star together doesn't happen often anymore. So now washed up celebs better look out!!  Is anyone safe? Love me some cousin Eddie though!!!

3. Star Whackers is secretly suspected of being behind Gary Coleman's, South Park Kenny's, Ed McMahon's, Leslie Nielsen's, and Flanders wife's death!!! The bastards!! Also fairly sure they got to Dustin Diamonds career!!

4.My sources have uncovered that Star Whackers also secretly wrote the 4th Indiana Jones movie....effectively killing off Indiana for me!!! They also wrote the second and third Matrix movies and created and voiced Jar Jar Binks character completely. This is beginning to make so much sense!!!

5. Potential members of star wackers include Nancy Grace, Dr Drew, Oprah's husband Steadman, Mugatu, Christopher Walken, Ivanka Trump, Ross Perot and old undead Elvis!!

6. Charlie Sheen once ordered a star wacker.... but was looking for a totally different thing!!

7. The organization goes way back. In fact their first credited kill........ Yeller

8. Tupak, Biggie and recently Nate Dog were killed by a similar group.....Wiggity Wiggity Wackers my sources say.

9. In related news Sara Palin attempted to launch Political Whackers with her bullseye website.

10. I'm almost certain they were at least partially responsible for whacking the death star!!

Anyways this thing fascinates me............and I have a feeling I will have more on this as I dig further. Untill then....... run Randy!

1 comment:

  1. This just hit me....I bet on that part of the Oscars where the music gets all sad and they show all the photos of the fallen movie people. Thats probably their slideshow of all the years biggest successes to them. Damn you Star Whackers!