Monday, September 24, 2012

The Cats with Guns Post

Alright... today I thought I would do a little post for all the cat people out there.... 


...but with a terrifying spin!

So.... I proudly present today...
The Cats With Guns Post!!

I know what your saying....
Finally right?!


Well to be honest...

 I have actually long wanted to out these furry little demon creatures for what they really are....


Cold blooded killers!!!

Yep..
Now I know many of you find cats adorable....
But I'm here to say "Please do not buy into their cuteness!"
Why?
Well lately these monsters are being trained to KILL......
By who you ask?

Well only the most ruthless of terrorists...
 (who may coincidentally also enjoy cuddling)....
but that's not the point...

You see.... cats have been buying their time for years!

Taking naps..... playing with string....
But also sharpening their claws....


...probably on your favorite furniture!!

And they have been..... 

..."testing the exits!"

Oh and trust me...
They are ready to....

Pounce!!!



Yep cats have just turned mean....
Gone are the fun days where you could dip your cat in Easter egg dye.....



And play dress up with your little fluffball.

Or maybe buy the perfect costume.....

To embarrass... 
er... 
....parade your little fur monster around in public!


Really back in the day...
 As long as you had enough paint.....

...cats would let you do anything you wanted to them!!


Well not anymore...
These furry little "catnip junkies" have had enough...
And guess what..... according to the internet...
They have been learning about firearms??



And they are ready to fight!


But who is training them?

Well my research uncovered this lady...
The Baroness of Cats....
And not only does she think she's a cat...
 Shes actually as mean as them....



And "got some serious issues" according to an ex I spoke with.
But whatever...


Oh and heres here toilet!!!
And kittys hungry!!!!
Um.....
 I dont know how else you expected me to weave this cat toilet to this cat story...
Im not proud of this joke...
Lets just move on....
Back to cats and......


GRENADES even!!
Dear god!!

Yep cats are skilled with all kinds of weaponry these days....

Learning from cat grenade afficianado....


This guy....



Who is currently serving time with his lioness in prison!!!



And in a blog exclusive...

I have uncovered knowledge that cats have been training in the art of CAMOUFLAGE.....

Under this guy.... 



Who is clearly recognized as a "master" in blending in wherever he goes.....

And the cats are getting crazy good....

For example....


Here


And here
And here....



And trust me he is there....
The tabby cat is in front of the stones on the right....


And then finally here........
....

...

...
...
Alright....
 So there's not really a cat in that last picture...
But their friggin could be for all we know!!!

And that's my point?

Cats are sneaky and dangerous......

And so I guess...

Consider yourself warned....

And before I go...

And also on a similar dangerous animal level....
Allow me to warn you about birds....
Cause birds as Im finding out....



Are turning people into poorly dressed zombie-like humans!!!
I mean... why else would you go out in public like that?
But I guess.... that's for a whole other post...

And until then
Blog ya'll later!

51 comments:

  1. It's not just cats & birds--beware of cows, too!!

    See what I mean here:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQMbXvn2RNI

    ReplyDelete
  2. ahaha the cat in the sink is adorable!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well at least the cats can eat the birds haha and never piss off a cat, now you all know that.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Okay Taco Cat and Sink Cat are just beyond adorable. I know my cat is trying to kill me, I've been aware of it for some time. But, they're just THAT fluffy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i pISSED MY PANTS!
      loved it..
      steve are you a researcher in real life....?
      just wondered

      Delete
  5. I've never trusted the little sulking feline devils, camouflaged behind their cuteness. Actually, I lived with a grey tabby named Miss Fancynancy for eleven years. Miss her still.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Those are some royally pissed off cats. I've never seen a dog play with a gun or a hand grenade. I'm sticking with puppies.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  7. Excellent warning.

    I'll pass it onto my colleague who is waging an everlasting war against what he calls "The ginger bastard"

    BTW. How can cats remove safety pins from grenades?
    They don't have thumbs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They use their devilishly sharp claws.

      Delete
    2. Ah, that makes sense. I'll shoot on sight then.

      Delete
  8. I KNEW IT! Cats are deadly and they're learning quickly. Pretty soon the world will be a wasteland devoid of humanity as birds and cats duel for supremacy.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Cats are gonna are gonna conquer the guman race aren't they? They're gonna rule the world aren't they?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I suspect they already do and are just waiting for the humans' weak moments ;-)

      Delete
  10. I am already being considered as a cat lady without cats and I need to work on that. I want the Pikachu cat.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I think it's time to call in the dogs of war!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I am a cat person but some of these cat pictures made me go, "What?" Ha.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hi there, Steve! That cat wearing 'the perfect costume' sure doesn't look too happy. Do you reckon I can buy the same outfit for my ex-girlfriend?

    ReplyDelete
  14. I wouldn't mess with the guy in the cat jacket, because that's the guy who doesn't say a word and then stabs you with his switchblade. And then when he looks down at your body, he's crosseyed, and you don't know if he's looking at you, but you're pretty sure he is.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hi there, buddy. Just wanted to let you know I'm about to shut down my old blog (don't ask), but here's my new address: www.thebluegrumpster.blogspot.com. You take good care now.

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  16. Truly terrifying. So that's why my cat (sorry, it now appears that I am HIS) spends 23 hours a day in the wardrobe pretending to be asleep. He's training and plotting. Eek! Jo

    ReplyDelete
  17. Yes, where are you, buddy? Are you ok?

    ReplyDelete
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