From the Mind of a Mad Man: Post #101

So I've been asked:

Why?...
Just why, Steve?...
What are you going to put on here?...
And when, for the love of ALL that is holy, will this end? (thanks Ma)...
Is this blog about payback, or is it some crazy reality show audition?...
Is it some weird take on one of the twelve steps?...
And if you knew what your 100th post was to be for quite a while, why wouldn't you mix in a salad, or hit the gym?...
Hmm...all good questions...
I don't think even my guidance counselor in high school saw this coming...and she was SO right about everything...

Well, the truth takes us back...way back...cue the Sarah McLachlin (...In the arms of the angels, far away from here.....)

Alright, so I was twelve, and Dad was always away, working at the mine, digging for that oh-so-rare #2 pencil lead. And Ma, she did her best to raise all 18 of us. There were no TV shows celebrating that kind of poor contraception then. As you can imagine, times were tough. I, being the oldest, had to help raise my siblings. One afternoon, after school, I came upon a rare shop owner who gave me a small, furry pet. He warned me not to feed it after midnight, because if you do, then...

Wait, wait, I got sidetracked..................let's backtrack a bit...

Cue the Barbara Streisand (...You don't bring me flowers...)
So, one summer I ran into this group of bullies. They called themselves the Cobra Kai. I learned the art of Karate to defend myself...and...

Wait, wait, wait...man! Let's try again...

Cue the Celine Dion (...My heart will go on...)
This one time I ruled this world full of mazes, and creepy puppets, and I was all-powerful, and...

Wait, wait, wait...wait!!! What exactly happened isn't important...the point is it was a sadder time, and there was no time for laughter. Even if I did cry, my tears would freeze on the long, cold walk to school. So now, I'm making up for that, and things have gotten better, too.
Don't even get me started about the time I was hunted through the jungle by this creature...

Or sucked into a computer...

Or about the time, at the Oregon Coast, that these kids took me through some underground tunnels in search of a pirate ship, and treasure (it was OUR time down there...)...