So its Christmas bonus time..... and I have heard from many people in various business fields that the economy has forced some companies to "rethink" how much they can give ....or even if they give out cash anymore at all....huh?...... well in an effort to do my part and help, I have a few ideas for you companies.....and a few ideas of what "cash alternatives" might be talked about in company boardrooms.........
My ideas for moneyless bonuses
Massages from the CEO's themselves....I think this would be great..."um A little lower sir"
Keys to the executive washroom, or company jet or limo, or use of the presidents personal chef....wait why didn't they do bonuses again?
Household chores from company execs......"make sure you get behind the bowl.....mam!" or Mr. CFO I think you missed that gutter.......
Babysitting coupons from your boss..... Remember to burp the baby after your done nursing him boss!!!!
A Christmas Bonus play performed by the H.R. department entitled...."Gonna sex me up that new hire while I wear inappropriate attire and tell dirty jokes while subjecting people to my political and religious views!" Early reviews call it "#@#!ing awesome! Loved the dance number!"
They could give back the video footage of you and the intern........that wouldn't suck....
Their ideas of moneyless bonuses
IOU's for like 50 sick days....Hey that's great....wait the fine print says unpaid! Man!!!!!!
Extreme cubicle makeover...sweet!!!! Wait is this just crap from the basement......
Or an extended lunch hour every day..... Nice!!! You will however be expected to start work an hour earlier though
A sack full of groceries....Thanks....Wait is this just old food from the employee fridge....hey this is actually one of my old sandwiches. Really?????
Profit share!!!!!.......0001%... and taxed...
Or what I got...... a new assistant.......But this one came with a suspicious feeling like I was training my cheaper replacement?
Come to think of it......Maybe I shouldn't blog about Xmas bonuses at all!!!!! or next year I could get that ever so precious Xmas promotion.....to Head of Janitorial with a note that reads "hey funny blogger guy....cant wait to read about your Things I hate about cleaning the urinal post!!!! Followed by Ha Ha Merry Xmas ASS!!