So... I fall asleep to the TV. I have for years. Some exes like it... Some not so much. But it is what it is. I doze off with the remote right next to me. Sometimes I roll over on it and it changes the channel....that said I think I'm learning things from TV.. while I sleep!
For example, the other day I woke up and I told people that I spoke to God, and the only way to be saved from eternal damnation was to send me money...... then I screamed REPENT, put my hand on peoples forehead, pushed them down and said "You have been healed bitch"....um... My boss didn't appreciate. So clearly I was watching tv evangelists while I slept ....get the joke. O.k. Good. Here we go............
Some mornings I wake up and can speak more Spanish. Thanks Spanish channel....... and the bonus from those nights is, I also learn how to have a crazy hot cat fight with another busty spanish soap star....all because of Carlos. Porque... Carlos... Porque?
Then one day I got up, put in my dentures and had nothing but right wing thoughts! Must have been Fox News I was sleepwatching! I just couldn't stop thinking how war is good & that its o.k. to crush the little people. Wait ...Wait... Even sleeping I could tell how biased this channel is...so never mind this one.
|look close to see something naughty!|
I tried to fall asleep to an "adult channel" once ....you know to learn a few things but I just woke up feeling static, wavy and scrambled...
Hmmm what else..... the other day I woke up and had to wear some bright pumps.....and you know what.... they did make the whole outfit pop!!! thanks fashion channel.....
Another morning I woke up and hated and distrusted all men ..... Then proceeded to have an eating disorder and then get in and out of an abusive relationship. Lifetime channel!! Would it kill you to play something positive?
Purposely fell asleep to the reality channel of course. Love me some reality! Woke up all happy.... then proceeded to break up with the girl I was dating ....er....voted her off.
And lastly I slept with MTV on last night. I was hoping to hum some new music when I woke up....... and.....nothing.......Do they even play music anymore? Whatever... All I felt was this odd sympathy for teen pregnancy? Huh?