Top 10 Signs your life is headed down the wrong path

So I find myself at a crossroads of life a little bit. My world is changing.... in mostly goods ways. There are new people in my life. (wink) And .. no that doesn't count as being "in the blog" so you can't get mad ...... What else is going on?.... um....   Im writing my movie..... unrelated question- Is there a rating worse than X for a movie?...... no reason.....moving on......   I'm also planning this year on taking this blog to Southern Cal.... Hawaii.... rehab.... Australia.... and back to Europe this upcoming year.  At least one of those expects to make for some good reading!! .... what else?  I guess everything's good in my world... you know aside from the leprosy. Anyways it got me thinking....  How did I get here? This isn't exactly what I envisioned for myself at this age. (mid 30's) And then I thought......  lets find out what the top 10 signs are that life didn't turn out exactly the way you thought it would ..... all right.... ready..... might be tough to read for some of you..... o.k. here we go!

10. Your life didn't turn out the way you thought...... when ..... your job has a drive through...... (bankers and pharmacists and I guess "escorts" exempt)

9. Or if you ended up in jail. Clearly. Unless....... you aren't in there for much longer and you hid away all of the cash from the robbery.... then I say well played sir.... well played.

8. You were an investor in Japanese nuclear power (too soon). Honorable mention to buying a home in 2007.

7. You start every day having breakfast... with mom. Love ya ma!

I hear their schooling is fantastic!!

6. You.... and I dont know how this might have happened...... but you've ended up living in North Korea or the Ivory Coast or Lybia.... or to a lesser extent Arkansas. What kind of crazy job offer makes this move happen? CEO of WMD's?

5. You are still waiting for your band to make it.....  Like this guy.... Who is available to play your next social gathering...... just sayin.

4. You are still "dancing".

3. You are really into tricking out your car like this guy. Just once I'd like to hear about a Leisure Suit Larry car.

2. You have rewatched a whole entire sci-fi series again and again....... and its kinda taken over your whole world.








and finally

1. You are still  trying to make it on The Real World...... one bit of advice for you.... spice up that audition tape! Full frontal?














All right I just can't bring myself to stop there..... there's just so many more reasons ......  

11. You are still a virgin.

12. You got in a fight with another parent at one of your kids ballgames...... Crazy sports dad .... you suck.

13. You are starting menopause...... in truth I don't really understand this.... so.... moving on.

Really? Three scoops? Delicious.

14. You have a face tattoo...

15. You have been quietly asked to not play Santa again at the rec centers Christmas for the kids celebration.

16 You are having second thoughts about your sex change.

17 And finally your teenage kid has a kid.










Thats it..... the top 17 signs your life is headed down a "different" path...... Be honest.... my average reader identifies with at least 6..... how bout you?   As always thanks for reading monkeys...
blog you all later.