Saturday, December 31, 2011

The Year in Rewind #4 How to get Rid of A Gold Digger

As we continue to look back at the year on this blog... we come to a post that's close to my heart. You see.... my family had an actual gold digger enter our lives this year and.... well..... we handled it this way. With an educational little post on how to get rid of that gold digger in your world. 

( my brother and his accountants favorite post of the year)

September 6th

So I interrupt my top ten ways to spice up your sex life posts to bring you something a bit more personal.... so bare with me. You see my brother recently ended a "relationship?" with a gold digger. You all know the kind..... Someone who enters your world and claims to be all into you.... but secretly is just all about your bank account. 

I know what you are thinking.... "Is he o.k.? Them gold diggers can be viscous." 
He is...  thanks for asking.... But how exactly did he end it? Cause as we know.. a gold digger can be hard to trap and often harder to get rid of ... Well.... Im gonna share just that with you... Ready? Here it is ......  a few easy steps to get rid of that digger in your life.. 

1. First identify suspect person as a true gold digger. Its normally very easy.... just look for the signs.... 

For example marrying the rich and deathly ill....

2. Then once identified.... let it slip you have stashed a huge pile of cash and family jewels... somewhere in the house?

3. Doing o.k. so far? Alright! Now.... choose a door to be painted gold... preferably a basement door... or any door that leads to the outside!

4. And put a sign on it that says "gold inside... keep out!"

5. Now its just time to wait.... trust me it wont take long... your digger will eventually get curious and open that door.... 

When they do.... quickly slam it shut and lock it behind them.... 

5. Its that easy.......Sure it might take a slight push? but whatever...
 Now..... what is behind the gold door is up to you. Obviously it could be simply the door outside.... 
but we can do better than that... cant we?

Maybe its the basement door ?

and the basement stairs have seen better days?

or maybe its the old trapdoor..... 

 into a cage.....

"caged digger"

or...maybe... just maybe..... its just a door to absolutely nowhere.

Any which way you are now free of your gold digger... like we are...

But remember.. if you decide to go the "cage a gold digger" route..
Make sure to taunt .......
blog ya'll later


  1. Well, once bitten, twice shy -- good luck to your brother -- I hope the next girlfriend is True Love!

  2. I really dug this post.
    Now that I'm done reading, I will get down off the roof, put my clothes back on and pop the cinnamon rolls into the oven.

  3. Now THAT'S funny, Steve. Happy new year by the way. Be careful you don't get trapped by a Steve digger. Some people want to have their own famous blogger, you know. It's a new trend. Great picture of that caged digger.

  4. I don't think I've encountered many gold diggers, but I'll keep this wonderful advice in mind.

  5. I GOT ONE! IT'S IN A CAGE! WHAT -cough cough- What do I do with it? Should I throw a gold nugget over yonder to distract it?

  6. haha I'll definitely be sure and taunt or maybe just throw her down the stairs or nudge her off a bridge. Wait! I have to have money first, guess I'm safe...haha