Steak... A Love Story!

O.k. so last week we talked food.... 
And how I have been learning to cook.
So I wrote a "touching" post about cooking breakfast....

Using my waffle keyboard of course!!

Well I failed to mention something else....

 You see I am good at cooking one other thing...

Really good at it!!!

Steak!!!!!

Yep steak....
Its a kind of life-passion of mine. 
And in truth I more than just "cook" it...
I "create" with it....
I do....

I simply fire up my creepy dragon grill....

Or bring my "travel grill" to a friends house.....

And cook one crazy-ass piece of meat!!!!






Oh and did I mention I'm creative?

Cause I am!!!

Seriously!!!

Cause you know..... 
I feel like when you cook a steak meal...
It should be something special!
And I promise...  I ALWAYS try to make mine....

"Memorable" ??

But thats not exactly what I wanted to talk about today....
Cause you see I have a history with steak.....
And it goes all the way back to childhood....
So lets travel back shall we?????


Now.... it was at an early age when I first realized my love of steak...
It was almost an "inspiration" to me.....

"Literally!!"

And I didn't just eat it...
No....
I played with steak....

And its condiments!

I remember playing with my "most favorite" of toys....

Mr Steak Head......
 And his side-kick.... that I sadly lost..
"I will find you one day Pink Slime Boy" young me cried!!

 But whatever...
 As I grew older my thirst for steak-knowledge could not be quenched.
I needed to know more....
So I began to read about steak....

And its "seductive" past!!!

Which is "surprisingly dirty"???

Well.... on and on..... I went growing up..
Still loving steak...

Sure steak got me in trouble from time to time.
But who didn't it for.... right?

Anyways...
Well it wasn't until one halloween.... 
when I met HER!!!


Me dressed up as a butcher...
Her dressed up as.....

Steak!!!!
It was love at first sight!
And we fell madly in love!!!

And our romance began...
I would bring her roses....

Steak ones... of course!!!

And buy her lavish gifts.... and such things....

Like that steak purse she loved so much...
...till the dog got a hold of it?

But she was amazing!!!
She would wait up for me at night......

In nothing but steak!!!

It was magic!!
Well I couldnt take it anymore....
It was time.....

So I proposed....

And she said yes!!!!!

Well here is the part of the story where I wish I could say we lived happily ever after.....
Maybe covered in steak or something????


Well..... sadly thats not the case!!!


You see she abruptly died before the wedding..
Apparently from....

Heart disease!!!
Or as the doctor put it...
 "No human can eat that much steak and live.... stupid!"

So I grief ate (steak of course!)


But I've since moved on....
And every once in a while...
I still cook up a "remembrance steak"...... in her honor!
Of our happiest time ever...

Us prancing through our favorite butcher shop......
Man... she used to love that!!!

Which is coincidentally....

Where I buried her....
I like to think.... that's how she would have wanted it....

And on that kinda "emotionally medium-rare" note ...
I guess...
Blog ya'll later.