The Weirdest Jewelry Ever- With Pictures To Prove It

Welcome back everybody...
We are gonna do something a little different today...
We are gonna do a post... 
... for a select group of my readers...
And no!!!

Its not for that strange group of..
  "perverted blind offenders" who read each week!! 
You sickos are still NEVER getting a post!!

No.... Im talking about my lady readers!
This ones for you!!!


Now... first allow me to explain...
Today is my girlfriends birthday...
And I need some advice...


You see I just spent all week "Shopping for girly gifts.."
And as you know...
That kinda shopping can be exhausting....

As this guy...
"who spent way to much time at the Cinnabon"... knows!

And what she wants this year is...
 "some fun jewelry"??


"What the hell does that even mean?" I asked myself...

Cause to me a Tetris ring is fun?
But she disagreed... last Valentines Day??

But whatever...
Now... here's where you all come in....


Below are pictures of all the "fun jewelry" I found...
And Im asking you...
 To help me pick which ones I should get ..
Get it?
O.K.??
Ready???
Here we go...


Warning- (as always) its gonna get weird!!!




Now first off .... as I shopped...
I came across...
... Animal Jewelry....

Like this octopus ring..

And this snail ring?

I even found a place that would make jewelry out of...

Your old animals???
Which I'm not sure she would like....

Oh and speaking of animal jewelry....

I found this Human Centipede chain...
which I deem "The saddest animal ever!!

Man that chain bummed me out...
It reminded me of that really TERRIBLE playground...
The one I went to when I was young....

This one...
Man I hated that park!!

But I digress....
Lets get back to "fun jewelry"...


Oh ya..
Next I found some "food jewelry"!!

Like this Sushi ring.

And these "Pro-cholesterol" rings!
Delicious!!

So I stopped at Cinnabon and shopped on....


And found some earrings perfect for a more...

Rural diet?

But then I thought... food and jewelry???
Im not so sure.. 
It could lead her down a path..
towards becoming THAT girl....
You know the one...

That wears an edible wedding dress on her big day!!

And by the way who do you invite to eat that dress after the ceremomy anyway?
Uncles and cousins??
The horror!

So I shopped on.
And boy did I find "fun jewelry"!


I found rings that doubled as...

Personal protection!!

And earrings that...

Nerds would freak out for!!!

Seriously!!!

I even found a set of rings....

I would love!!!

I found laser rings.....

Like this one!

Which passing drivers often refer to as...
 "Incredibly distracting!!!

And then you know what...
It hit me!
 I was actually having fun!!
So I started to "test-drive" the rings myself....

Sure they had to cut off a couple...
But whatever!!!
"It must have been all that Cinnabon frosting"... I told the clerk?

Whatever....
"What about a watch".... I next thought?
 And.... Man.... did I ever find the perfect watch!!!
 But only if she was say.....

..."going away" for 7 to 10 years?

"I'll save that one for some other birthday" I told myself.


Now...
Of course I found some less successful stuff too...
"Not every piece is a home run...stupid!" the guy in the van told me!
Which...
I guess made sense?

Like "pimple ring".

Or wedding ring brass knuckles????
These just aren't for everyone.

Oh and speaking of wedding rings?
Did you know they make an "un-engagement ring" these days???


Well they do!!!
Its this one....

Which would totally work!!!!

But back to "fun jewelry"...




I stumbled onto a new trend!!
.... of parents getting rings made for them....

...out of their kids dental impressions?
Is that fun... or just creepy?

I discovered "living jewelry"??

Perfect for "the vegan on the go"!!

And even other rings that.... 

Promoted greenery a different way???

I found rings for people....

on a budget....

And I even found an artist who takes photos of YOU...
 and then incorporates the shot... but into a ring???

Im leaning towards a beach scene?

And...thats it...
Well... let me know what you all think...
Personally... Im kinda leaning towards these earrings...

The ones from Cinnabon!!!
Uh..... delicious?!

Anyways...
Too many options...I think?
Let me know....
My relationship depends on it...


And..

Blog ya'll later.