#6 of 14 The Flasher Post

This brings us to my #6 favorite??... (uncomfortable laughter) 
Or my #1 post.... in terms of blurred out nudity?
Anyways here it is.... (putting on my trench coat)
The Flasher Post... 


So... here we go. The flasher post! Allow me first to preface this by saying I was recently flashed. True! I work downtown Portland ... and bam!! It happened. Right on the corner of 14th and Burnside this lady got me.... her whole naked business.


 "Well at least it was a lady" you're saying.... right?  


Regrettably...  not so much. You see she was a tad bit older and had the creepiest smile on her face. 
Come to think of it.....  she was surprisingly limber though? .... Whatever..... 




The only plus of this whole experience was it gave me the idea to kinda celebrate the flasher in all of us with this post. .... so enjoy???


Now.... you will learn (if you talk to a flasher purist like I did) that flashing, as well as an excellent way to cool off, is really about pure human expression. 


And these "surprise-nakedness aficionado's" will then go on to tell you that...


 "Exposing yourself is what mother nature wants us to do"... 


 and...


 ...that "The flash" is the absolute best way of getting back in touch with that same nature.

In fact, apparently, nature itself.....  
"Desires to be flashed!"

Huh?
So as I spoke with these flashists they explained, all be it a bit too visually,  that flashing is the ultimate sign of ....respect!! 


And then..... they respected the hell out of me.... 
...over.... and over......and over...


They really believe this stuff I found out... 
In fact then they shared their most cherished motto with me...


"To flash is to expose the purest part of yourself to someone or something. Its like revealing your inner soul to them.... and I guess your testicles too." quote from Richard Wad (flashing guru)


Huh??? 
Finally they wrapped up our meeting by reminding me of their TWO most sacred rules....  


1.) You should only flash what you truly love...


And 2.)

Run like hell when you see flashing lights!!!!

Now that just makes sense!
  .... It was at this point I kinda began to understand.
So if people should only flash what they love..... then.....

....maybe they should flash things ....like their T.V.? 

Or maybe fast food?  
Seems pretty American?

Or say... Professional Dirt-Biking (redneck specific).....
 Then afterward maybe... 
... a can of chewin tabacca or a trailer park? 

Or maybe you love love the holidays....

Well go show everybody just how much!!!

Or maybe your a fan of taking a nice little train ride through somewhere.... like maybe wine country?

Thats perfect!!
Cause wine has long been recognized as...
"The juice that helps bring the flasher out.... in all of us!"

Or maybe you love women...
Like all women...
Like alot!!!
Well .... according to recent studies...

You are not alone... 
In fact you are part of the "flasher majority"! 
Congrats!

But what then about the reverse....

Cause you dont often see....

Women "publicly showing love"  to the men in their life?

Well according to all women.....

You apparently have to ask the right question!
Heres a hint... Ask about feelings!!!!

Or sometimes apparently for a lady....
you have to be driving.....

The perfect car!!!

That makes even more sense!
Well hopefully its becoming clear to you now?  
I mean if you think about it....
 girls have been flashing their favorite bands for years now..... 


But where can flashing go to from here... in today's evolving world?


Well..... people have moved on to flashing TECHNOLOGY I found out.. 

Like Google maps!!!!

Or their smart phone!!
Cause everyone (bosses excluded) love those!!

And then.............. 

Then.......

 I I had any doubts left about flashing being acceptable....

  I found this......

Come on.... if the Golden Girls did it.... 
It can't be wrong... right?
(side note- this will most likely be my only golden girls reference on this blog.... so enjoy it... uh...  golden girls fans that somehow also read my blog?)

Thats it!!!!
Flashing is officially good!!!!! 


Now...  as with all good things, sometimes people can get "carried away".... 


And before anyone goes out and gets a personalized license plate that encourages all drivers, bicyclists, pedestrians, woman of the night, joggers, and maybe Amish barn raisers to "show you their love"..


..... it's good to remember that flashing can also become a problem..


A "love obsession" as one felon told me. 


But not to worry... cause help is available out there.

Just please.....
 Don't "show everyone how much you loved getting that help"!!! 

Well everyone.... I really hope this post helped to change your impression of the flash. 
Personally I loved all this new information.... a lot!!!!.....  
Thanks for reading..... I gotta go... 

.... show those flashers just how much !!!!!

blog ya'll later