Saturday, June 2, 2012

#8 of 14 The Breakfast Post

Alright everybody Im hungry!
So it made me think of this..... 
A post rated #8th favorite by crazy "Miami cannibals" everywhere.
Here ya go... 


The BREAKFAST Post


Welcome back everybody......
Now...... Im just gonna come out and say it...
I believe in alien mind control!!!
No wait.... 
Wait...
That's for a totally different post....
um...


Today's post was supposed to be....
 How I freekin love breakfast....
Yep breakfast!!
Man do I love it....
Don't we all?
Well the other day I woke up in my breakfast themed sheets...


These ones....


And realized I wanted to get stupid good at cooking breakfast!




Now...  sadly Ive never been a very good cook...


Sure I've perfected cooking the occasional frozen pizza...




When I didn't fall asleep cooking it?


But whatever...
It was time to move passed that.
I was time to become a breakfast CHEF!


So this is the story of how I unleashed that inner chef I always new I had in me.....




And to very clear.... it was nothing like this guys inner chef!!!


Moving on...
Now.... the other morning I sprang outta bed... 
and took a quick morning shower....


That included a healthy amount of my usual...
 "fun morning mouth wash"!


All refreshed and slightly buzzed...
I strapped on my Star Wars apron... 
and got after it... cooking breakfast!!
 Vader style!


Now my first attempt was a failure I admit...


And after a "small-ish?" kitchen fire on my second attempt....
I realized I needed some help....


So I decided to get some cooking tips....
And as always I turned to the internet... 
and it was...well...  informative?


I learned of a thing called a donut bath?
Huh?
I guess that's breakfast related?
And I learned of a Cheerios facial????
Which I found more disturbing than helpful really???




So I then turned to the library...


And found this book....
Which was very helpful... for me..
but not the dog!


And everything began to make sense....
So.... armed with all this new information I began to cook!!!


And you know what?
It started to click.
And I started to cook really well!!!
And surprisingly...... creative even!!!


I made Star Wars pancakes...
I even cooked a European inspired breakfast.....


Which was actually pretty easy?


I cooked a Twilight themed breakfast ...
Which I deeply regret!
In fact I would have fed that to the dog...
But I think even he has better taste than that!



So whatever.....
I moved on...


And went on to cook a delicious video game themed breakfast!!
Man it was so addictive!


There was nothing I couldn't do!!


I even learned how to take toast....


To the next level!!!


All was right in the world.... 
My dream was realized!!!


 I was a breakfast ARTIST!


I could simply crack any egg....


And I could make anything!

In fact.... I couldn't STOP cooking I loved it so much... 
So I bought a ton of eggs....

And made a quick egg couch outta them!!!
It was perfect!!
And I hadn't even cooked them yet!!!!


But then...
Well then it happened!!!!


I cooked the PERFECT BREAKFAST!!


And I knew...
 I was time to stop...


It could never get more perfect than this...


The Jesus pancake!!!


Which I proudly call my "miracle of breakfast."


And...


 maybe??


 What others might call....


Some jackass who hasn't learned how to clean the dishes properly!


But we will tackle proper "dish-washing"  some other day...
And until then...
Blog ya'll later!

7 comments:

  1. Yeah I think I'll pass on such food, most looks real crude.

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  2. First post of your reruns that I've seen before! I'm extremely hungry right now and there are a few things in this post that I would by happy to try ;-)

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  3. I'm so damn hungry now. I don't want to wait for someone to make something fancy.

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  4. mmmmm Star Wars pancakes!

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  5. Cheerios face is not right. It's just not right. Looks like a gross disease. I can teach you how to cook excellent omelets and pancakes, but you have to promise I'll never get Cheerios face.

    Love,
    Janie Lola

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  6. The breakfast post...another classic madman post! That donut bath....it's disturbing!

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  7. I have no words but enjoyed the post

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