Part 2 of the review of my ex.....the split!

And now the continuation of my relationship story.... So Vicky and I were on our way to a happy life when IT happened. The fight. You see this evening she had made dinner....pancakes with toast, pasta and biscuits with bread pudding for dessert. (Nobody perfected gluten heavy cooking like her.) We then retired to the study for one of  our nightly discussions. This particular evening we planned to discuss the pros and cons of having an indoor outdoor fish and which politician was our emotional doppelganger. It was as if our minds could heal nations. But her mind couldn't heal Haiti this night. She was miles away.......

She had already packed her bags... and  needed something more. She felt compelled to become one of those people who understood at least half of  the New York Times crossword puzzle she said... It was time "to see the world"....to become more "smartish" as she put it. She wanted to understand things like why all the cool people always say " Blah blah blah.... I like their earlier stuff:"....why never the new music? 

She needed to figure out why it was socially unacceptable to throw a surprise party of one person.... and why the courts called that stalking? 










She wanted to know why being a bitch is called bridezilla and largely accepted? Can't a Singlezilla be as forgiven? 






 She wanted to experience true feelings..... like deep laughter, pure love and extreme terror. I didn't understand.....so after a failed attempt to scare her with my Gary Busey mask..... I let her go.......




Now our story wasn't done romantics....Not by a long shot..........and after what seemed like forever..... or what others call  a "three day weekend" ...I moved on. 


Her name was Claire.....and Claire had an interesting job...she was a writer of unique fortunes for fortune cookies.......At the time we met she was working on some scary Halloween fortunes.  She had just written a new couple fortunes "You will have a FANGtastic evening" and "Your HORRORscope predicts you will hear from a ghoul friend soon" ....I recommended one....... " Thats not chicken your eating....its dog" She loved it......and there was instant chemistry. The next step was to date....but I will save that story for another day.



P.S. if you ever do get the " its dog fortune"....I'm legally bound to mention that Changs Chinese Shack never had any prior knowledge that their meat was only 70% chicken....just sayin.