Revisiting the I killed a drifter post.

So I killed a drifter.........ok ok I didn't kill a drifter I just always wanted to start a post that way. If I were to kill someone it wouldn't be a drifter.... maybe a hipster and their pretentious music tastes (god I hate them) or a crazy news person (see tomorrows post). Nope I'm not a fighter......and depending on the ex you ask I'm not a lover ...   apparently dead inside.  So is there a third category ????? 

Hmmm??? It would probably be some odd combo of tolerator, humoror and shocker (leave it alone people).....No I could never kill someone I don't think.... Ive never even gone hunting. Don't get me wrong. No judgment here.... its just I hit my prey dead on every time I go to the Safeway meat department. Never missed once. Plus I don't have to cover myself in some animal urine and spend a perfectly good golfing sunday hanging out in the bushes... And please don't take offense hunters that read my blog....we love you here ..... really... in fact to be fair I am going to throw ya a hunting hint or two. 

Hunting hint #1.... grenades!!!!!! Perfect for the fisherman. Just pull the pin... drop it in the water.... the fish float to you. Lots of em my sources tell me! 

Hunting Hint#2  Human urine....works so much better. (shhhh!!! Its a Dick Cheney secret)...  

Hunting hint #3 When duck hunting, a good hunting dog is invaluable. It gets so tiring.... sitting in one place, drinking beer, shooting at things from far away....then add in having to walk all the way over to pick up your kill.....exhausting!!! So get a dog!

and lastly Hint #4...... any REAL hunter has to have a good taxidermist.... nothing shows off your true hunting prowess like dead animal heads on a wall..... I imagine one day I may become a hunter...... and one day I will come home from the park or the zoo...wherever I was hunting that day.... and proudly gaze up on the wall of my trophies...... ah the pride...... Deer, buffalo, mountain lion, bear, bald eagle, parakeet, meerkat, groundhog, snipe, monkey, baby seal, lapdog, person, lapdog, yeti, lapdog, lapdog.......