Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Top 10 places not to hide Easter eggs... amongst other stuff

So hey everyone. Im hoping everyone had a fantastic Easter or whatever the Scientology equivalent of that is.... maybe Alien Resurrection day... (where you have to find a bunch of easter probes hidden in people)

Anyways it got me thinking of doing a top 10 places not to hide Easter eggs around the house post.... a very family friendly entry I thought for once.... unfortunately after I started thinking about it ... it turned out to be not so family oriented. Even better ..... so ..... here we go ...enjoy!!!!

Top 10 places not to hide Easter eggs around the house

10. Don't hide eggs...... in the sink drain with the garbage disposal ...... especially when the rooms dark and you're flipping on light switches ... kinda makes sense right!

9. The toilet... I mean come on thats obvious. Bidets, urinals, or holes in the ground (for my Arkansas readers) they count as well. Don't hide em there....

8. In mommies "toy" drawer..... um.... heres where I put the "thats not an egg" joke. Inappropriate maybe.... but also so true...

7. The  litter box..... or I guess that corner of the yard that the dog "prefers"

6. In or near the hornets nest attached to the shed.... or I guess the bee hive counts. Or maybe the alligator pond.... or the snipe den?

5. Anywhere near the creepy nudist neighbors house. You know the one. That guy that had to "introduce" himself when he moved in next door. On second thought if you're reading this blog ... you might be that guy.

4. Near the tree with the poison oak and all the spiders and the snake holes and its on fire and somehow it has learned how to shoot guns and its ill tempered. Wait... wait.. this one just jumped the shark .... disregard.

3. In the pile of all the rotting Easter eggs from all the previous Easters .... this one is hoarder specific. Seriously hoarders pull it together!

2. Inside the dog  (come on people he ate it .... I would never.. )

1. and lastly..... in your pants..... the good side to this hiding spot....you wont ever be asked to hide the family's easter eggs again.

There it is............. an Easter related naughty post? Not too bad. Definitely not as bad though as my top 10 Commandments for this generation post I opted not to complete.....

10. Thou shalt not marry multiple times.... unless the new spouses get hotter and younger each time

9. Thou shalt not bear overly unrealistic plastic surgery.... unless tastefully done

8. Don't covet thy neighbors internet porn

7....... um... moving on

As you can see that was headed down a bad path .... I guess it would have been just one last moral nail in my coffin. Make that my Costco purchased coffin. What's that you ask? Oh ya.... they actually do sell coffins there!!! Yep Costco sells all your afterlife needs..... But seriously who buys those in bulk. I guess maybe cults would.... or Al Qaida.... (actually they probably just buy bulk shovels) Thats right I just did a mass grave joke..... um ... Lepor colonies would or somehow Enron. (the bastards) You know I should stop .... I should save this for some other holiday post... oh I don't know.....  maybe Shake a Baby Day? Damn you Al Qaida for inventing that holiday!!! .... uh ..... well .... we just went from Easter to mass graves. I think thats enough for today....

Let me leave you with two Easter Fails I found and Blog ya'll later.

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