Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The worst bars I could find on the internet

So I was thinking - What to post about today..... and then it hit me. I can't believe it took me so long to talk about this. The Bar. 
Ah the bar.... a place I'm guessing if you read this blog you probably know well... where everyone knows your name... & the bartender knows what kind of a slut you were last night..... 

Ah the bar........ a place where some of the toughest guys order girly drinks. 

Ah the bar........ where really bad dancing happens.... and embarrassing grinding happens!!!!!!! Really buddy?

Ah the bar....... where problem drinking happens

Ah the bar..... where basically sometimes just really bad decisions happen...

uh...... moving on......

Now for those of you who don't know me all that well (thanks a lot family) I run a bar. Its my job.... its fun ..... I'm good at it it (uh maybe don't ask my employees that) and it makes for good stories. I genuinely like what I do. 

This is here just cause its genius!!
Sure you have the occasional girl get herself completely naked, jump up on a pool table and proceed to throw pool balls at anyone trying to get her off the table. But I think that's pretty common with all our jobs. Right? Plus she threw like a girl..... Anyways.... between working at a bar, playing music in bars for years.... and then going out drinking and dancing... er grinding... at the bars I have spent my fair share of time, dollars, and dignty in and around Portland's finest establishments ..... and also ....maybe some not so fine. And that my friends is where this post is headed. Ready for it. The worst bars on the internet.
Alright so fellas you can't get much more warning than this.... If you do happen to find Mrs. Right here good freekin luck to you. Regulars here include Paris Hilton, Phil Hartmans wife, Lorena Bobbit, and three of the spice girls who asked to remain nameless...

So lets start with this one.... I hear the service here is terrible. Their motto "American's come get stoned at the Taliban bar".... Don't go.. it's so not what you think it means!

Now this bar has a major rivalry with the above bar... guess that makes sense.
um now this bar..... it's THE spot to go in Arkansas!!!
Now this sign says it all. Plus they were so hungover when making it they couldn't  even use proper grammar. Whatever... I'm gonna be so dranking there soon.

Now what about some other kinds of bars????

This bar sucks

Worst candy bar ever
Absolutely worst bar of soap ever

Those bars clearly disappoint... but you know what... Who doesn't love a bar at happy hour? ..... How can you mess up happy hour?

um........ probably this way?

This guy was in way to much of a hurry to make happy hour before it was over! But in case you were wondering.... he totally made it!
Then there's this....worst happy hour food ever.
All right lets wind this up. Here's just a couple other bars I found that are kind of .....well ... different.

Worst bar name I found.

Defeating the purpose since 92

The official second hand smoking bar!

Then there's this one. Now this is either one of the worst bars ever.....or one of the best jails.... I really can't tell.

And lastly... The worst bar I found on the internet. I couldn't actually find an inside photo of it, but allow your imagination to run wild thinking about any bar with this sign out front.....
That place is crazy.... just sayin!

Thanks for reading..... and blog ya'll later.


  1. Those bars of soap would be fun to gift for a blind person!

  2. Onion Girl that is terribl........y hilarious! They are from the Helen Keller cosmetics line.