Sunday, June 19, 2011

The Father's Day Post...

Ah its Father's Day........ that special day across our great country to celebrate (or mourn) paternity test results everywhere. Even you carnie dad. 

It's beautiful... how on this day, ladies will reluctantly call off their child support bounty hunters... just long enough to spend the day with their baby daddy.  And it usually includes giving dad a few bad ties, maybe some "adult time" and for one day stop nagging him to "go get a freekin job". What a bizarre yet strangely American holiday?

 Now I don't know who created it originally... but we can clearly rule out a few people. Anyone working for the Lifetime channel, or one of Oprah's minions..... or anyone attending one of countless stripper support groups across the country...You know groups like "Strippers Tackling Daddy-issues" .... or STD's for short.... Helpful info alert..... for you recovering dancers .....Here's the first step to stripping freedom they will tell you at your very first meeting.... get out of the club.... Cinnamon here is well on her way to recovery..... uh... moving on.

Now I don't have any kids of my own... the courts won't allow it I celebrate each year with some golfing, a few beers, and often times some BBQ .... kind of a typical Saturday for me but with dad ..... And we have a great day.... It's true... I got lucky. My Dad is one of the good Dads out there.... at least that's what my therapist keeps telling me. So I thought since I did a post about the worst moms for mothers day... the worst reverends for church day..... and the worst doctors for colonoscopy day (voted worst holiday 2007) I thought it was only fitting to do one about the worst dads. Here we go.... and happy Fathers Day pops! 

Now lets start with this one. This Dad's got it figured out. He put his kids to work right away. Building work ethic..... and squishing soft head spots.

And then this Dad....he is building something totaly else. Death for his entire family. He just doesn't know it yet. Seriously look at the focus from this future serial killer.

And this Dad.... who e-harmony tells me is available ladies. His interests include dancing, dancing, dancing, collecting stamps, dancing, dancing....etc.

But being a Dad is about the relationship with your kids my inside sources say.... If not it would be Man's Day (patent pending).... so lets take a quick look see into the relationship between fathers and their kids. Enjoy.
They teach them to shop.

They make them their costumes.  

And then even more inappropriate costumes

They spend quality time with them

Even more quality time 

They "Red neck em" ..... er... teach em to shoot Arkansas style. Notice how the gun is pink. Perfect for a little-in.

and then punish them when necessary..... right the third world?
Alternate Punishment 

but being a good Dad is really about your family and always setting a good example.... totally unlike the Dads below!!! Let me leave you all with the three worst Dads on the internet.

Tranny Dad is kind of a bummer.... but totally helps teach his daughters about makeup.
Unfaithful dad.... had it coming. He is current not enjoying Father's Day. But this did get me thinking about sandwich boards and people wearing signs..... who is wearing the worst sign ever?
This guy...... but surprisingly informative....
anyways ..... here's the worst Dad hands down....
Happy Father's Day everybody..... Blog ya'll later


  1. I can't believe those dads! Especially that one on a motorcycle. He's now on the list of people I want to stab.

  2. Ya he's bad.... plus even if he ever really wanted to change... there's no motorcycle hand running over rehab available...

  3. Does your Dad know you put his picture on here??

  4. Very funny -- has a "Dads of WalMart" feel to it!


  5. @Pearl.... I just found the people of Walmart website recently... and Im not even sure these dads would fit in with those knuckle draggers. @Patrick... you are right!!! Well done. Thats my dad giving me the axe back before the "accident".