Sunday, July 3, 2011

The Fourth of July Post

Happy freekin Fourth Of July everybody!!!! 

Alright so....Here we are again. This has always been one of my most favorite holidays. I'd rank it somewhere between Secretaries Day and maybe Shake A Baby Day (not hard. Im not a monster). Most of all of us will be out BBQing today.. which I love!! Nearly anything tastes stupid delicious when grilled!!

Shockingly does not taste like chicken?

And then others of us will be outside, getting eaten by mosquitos, sleeping uncomfortably,  listening to our irritating drunken family members snore camping. A kind of weekend homelessing... but for some reason... that people choose?  It's an American institution.. but you gotta remember to be careful while doing this.....

....And its not just the wildlife to be cautious of...various sunburned and poison oaked people that just camped tell me. Its also where you choose to set up camp.... that dictates the experience!!

Where else might you all holiday'ers be? Some of you are maybe at the tractor pull..... or drag race?
Or maybe some of you just left on vacation somewhere.
My sources tell me cat ladies go on vacation too! Just without other people!

But its our holiday. All of us Americans.... And here on my blog.... I salute all of you. Its what my therapist would have wanted.... so Happy Independence Day North Americans not Canadian, Mexican Vegan or from Arkansas!!

I salute you...  
And I salute you....  !

And I salute you mam ..... but I really really didn't want to!

I salute you.... heterosexually.
I always salute Will... no joke here. He's just salute worthy here!
I salute you......duct tape prom outfit people.... sort of?
and I saloot you..... huked on fonics drop out.

I salute you.. crazy cat lady. Actually you know what... no! No I don't! 

But I do salute you... guy who cleans Lincoln's ears. You are a true American!
Anyways.... everyone have a memorable 4th of July. Crack open a beer.... listen to some Springsteen, Beach Boys or some Cure ( you unbalanced Americans who cry for no reason) and then light off some fireworks.... and I will blog ya later. 
Portland fireworks

Bonus- Check this video link out. You will thank me. But watch the whole thing. It gets crazy.... and you just might appreciate your fireworks makers from now on! Happy 4th!


  1. And I salute you, Steve. Happy Fourth of July, and don't be taking no pictures of somebody else's naked momma, OK? :)))

  2. P.S. At the end of the video, the commentator says, "Here once again in slow-motion. You can clearly see the roofs being blown off these houses." Yeah, I remember this. Half the city was destroyed because of a bunch of idiots storing a ridiculous amount of fireworks in a densely populated area. Very smart. Let's put them on the barbie, what d'you say, Steve? You need an extra picture?

  3. Women have done stranger things to their pussy than that cat lady. She just needs some man-love to straighten her out.

  4. As for me, here on the outskirts of the Chicago slums I'm still listening to a cannonade of explosions outside and trying to discern whether they're fireworks or gunfire.

  5. @RCB... I dont know bout you but I thought the patriotic momma looked very classy-ish? and I would of course be down with bbqing morons!
    @Gorilla Bananas... cat lady does need some good sweet declawed and spade lovin!
    @ A Beer for the Shower... sounds crazy! I hope you survived the night! Now go get in that shower and have a breakfast beer!

  6. Hey there! So... as you are pactising with me your therapist's advice, well I guess I can safely comment your entries without you taking the first flight to Italy to beat me up, can I? ;-) Mmmhhh I forgot what I wanted to write... oh yeah! Is there a secretary day? Really? GOOD! Another excuse to go out to the pub and drink a couple of beers... when is this REALLY important date? I need to know! I need to know!!! :-DDD
    Well.. ok... see ya! ;-)
    Remember what your therapist told you!
    And remember I am a very sensitive girl........

  7. We had a small cookout planned with another family, but the bailed on us. Strangely we were glad. Just Tessa and I and pitcher of frozen daiquiris.

  8. @ Daisy... Secretary Day is April 27th!! Celebrate it the American way... randomly take any and all secretaries you can with you to the bars! I love that day!
    @Fred... Only thing wrong with a pitcher of frozen daiquiris..... is when there isn't a second one!Sounds like a perfectly good fourth to me!

  9. great blog! look forward to your post +followed

  10. This was the best 4th of July post I read. :D

  11. @Onion Gypsy... thanks!
    @Hot New Music... reverse salute back atcha
    SPeaceloveandsharpies... Thanks and I hope you read more than just this one!