Friday, July 15, 2011

The restaurant Pedal

So as I continue to be lazy this week..... I thought I would repost another one of my favorite posts. This is my business plan  for a future restaurant and it is....... definitely memorable. Here ya go.....

Well some of you may remember I was close to opening a restaurant this fall. We submitted a business plan and nearly got the building but alas it just didn't happen.  I was left thinking maybe another time... if we find another great space......anyways, in the meantime, I have been busy brainstorming unique ideas for Portland case the ball gets rolling again.......and I would appreciate some feedback on this latest one. Its called Pedal and its never been done before.......... heres what you need to know......

"Pedal is the worlds first Zero Calorie restaurant" How you ask? Allow me to explain.

Pedals menu is diverse...from exquisite salads and tasty healthy options to perfectly seasoned steaks and rich pasta dishes. We even serve an I.V. but more on that later......
Each meal is carefully calorie counted or Weight Watcher point tallied or carb monitored ..basically we measure our food in every way...   our menu will show the fatty... er... diner all sorts of wonderful dietary data about every single menu item....

"How is the food" you ask...Freakin tasty.. ....excellent chefs.....local ingredients......our secret is we cook with "flavor"....ready to eat???   Not so fast!!!

Before you get to eat you are given a swipe card. Now I mentioned this is a zero calorie restaurant right....Once signing will be ushered to our waiting room.

Here in this room you are going to have to bust your ass....thats right EARN your dinner...working out on the treadmill, or on the rowing machine. Hey pedaling on the bike for an hour and you almost burned off enough calories to get that appetizer you wanted..."Yum thats gonna be so good." You see we wont let you order any more food than your swipecard said you burned off......fatty.

MEAN? Maybe.......but this place is still going to be packed!!! With workout junkies and health conscious people and oh ya we do surprise parties. Got a heavyish friend. Surprise!!!! We ordered you the pasta!! Working that off on the treadmill will take all freekin day..Don't worry they'll thank you later..... maybe? Isn't this restaurant genius?

Heres a couple other things you need to know....

We have an open kitchen....its right next to the workout know for motivation... and our servers walk right through with the food

Plus our heavy fans blow in the smells  of cooking know for aromatic inspiration.

Sneak a few unaccounted for bites from someone elses plate during dinner. No just lost your chair...get ready to wall sit through dinner

Want to make it on to our Wall of Dessert. where we put your picture up and you enjoy a dessert of cake, ice cream pie and more cake.............please allow 5 hours.....not for the dessert but for the wholly living hell we are going to put you through..............

So........... what do you all think. I know I would go.....I can only imagine Aunt Ednas birthday party.... she is crying cause shes still on the treadmill and screaming "I just want some food"....while grandpa Frank has passed out in his soup and probably needs an I.V.  Everyone else?... They're fine! Tired and sweaty, but at the table waiting for the veggie sticks they EARNED (slackers got off the treadmill too soon).......its a pretty beautiful picture.....and you know what........ they will all tell a friend just where they ate last night......Thats a promise!!....and thats it. 

Thats Pedal......what do you think?

Side note.....ladies will be encouraged to avoid dining in high heals......our sources say they are just too hard on the treadmills.....


  1. It sounds cruel, but I bet you could get a line around the block with that kind of attitude. I absolutely approve.

    Hell, this should be a REQUIREMENT in America. We're the fattest nation in the world for a reason...

  2. Actually, I think that it is a brilliant idea. Not sure what that says about me. Good one! :)

  3. Although I think it's probably a good idea, unfortunately I don't think it'd be well received, down here in the south anyway.

    But you're up in Portland city of the endless hike and bike trails so you just might do OK.

    Have you seen the pedal bars where the patrons (about 15 I think) sit on barstools and pedal as the bar actually travels down the street on their pedal power?

  4. those legs are fabulous, haha.

    And I think that's an awesome idea!

  5. I would actually go there... not with a date of course, but I'd go! No freaking way am I letting a potential Mr. Right see me ooze lard from my pores on the treadmill!

  6. This is actually brilliant. I would encourage people to go there. But not me. I'm to lazy and always hungry. And impatient. :p

  7. Nothing like a mighty fine treadmill to burn those calories and up your appetite. But a picture of beautiful gets me suspicious - could it be she has a face like Fred Flintstone? anyway, I'm glad to hear you're being a bit lazy. I'm kind of trying to enjoy a holiday I didn't get myself.

    - Thumbs up from across the Atlantic!

  8. P.S. Again?? 'beautiful' equals 'beautiful legs'... I really need a vacation, but I'm stuck with a lamp-shaded cat that had it's tail bittenof by his best friend... ouch!

  9. I think it's brilliant, too - and I think you would find a huge market for it here, in Los Angeles.
    Can you connect it to any "green" benefits? I always want to go out and spend time with friends and chat, but not to the movies or pigging out. Work out play dates are less common than you would think, so I've always wanted to set up a stationary bike and juice bar, where people could chat while they're pedaling, pedaling that would generate renewable energy, similar to wind mills.

  10. @ A beer for the shower... Thanks I think America is totally ready for this too.
    @Saylor... it says "dont mess with you... cause you have a dark side" I say good for you.
    @Bodacious Boomer... I have seen those pedal bars. Apparently there is one in Bend Oregon... about 3 hours away from here. Gonna check it out next time I am out that way. I'll post the photos.
    @Lemons dont make lemonade... those legs are all sexy hot... damn!
    @Angie... if you ever ooze lard while working out.. you are working out way too hard girl! ha!
    @Gnetch... Im with you. I am way too lazy for that.
    @RCB... sorry bout your poor cat... as for a fred flinstone face? I dont know? I like to think she has more of a Jessica Rabbit upper half myself.
    @Tyler... hahaha!! Damn it... water is free! You're a no good dirty loiterer is what you are.
    @Peter Varvel.... I think we are on the same wavelength... now if we could just find the investors?