Friday, August 12, 2011

Angry Mailbag #2

So...... every once in a while I receive an email ... or a letter... or the ever rare smoke signal (Thanks Chief RunsWithSegways) with some sort of reader feedback.

And far to often they sound alot like this....

Dear Madman,
I recently discovered your blog and took some time to read it ...... Also I recently got this explosive case of the stomach flu. I preferred the flu! Cause your blog sucks!!! Go away!

Now good or bad... I always promptly respond...
For example this one I responded this way.

Dear Peoplethathateyou,
Thanks for the feedback. Sorry about your stomach flu. I took your criticism to heart. I've attached a list of possible future topics for you to look at and let me know if you think these may be more interesting to you.....
                                              click here
Again thanks so much,
From the Mind of a Madman

And then sometimes I get an email like this.......

Dear Mind of a Madman,
I have become an avid follower of your writing. Many times I find myself chuckling at your amazing and funny stories. I really really think you're the best. In fact I tell all my friends to log on here ..... I feel like I really know you now. Like we are almost family.... that's why I was hoping you could lend me say $10,000. It would just be for a couple weeks.

Thanks buddy and enclosed is an IOU,

So of course I sent PaulyShoreRules23 a check.... This one....

but then the other day....I RECEIVED THIS!!!!

Dear Madman,
I enjoy this site from time to time. You seem to cover a wide variety of topics..... and since I don't think anyone actually reads this (no offense) I feel safe to ask you....this personal favor. Can you give me a few tips on how to really big time spice up my sex life? I would really appreciate it.... and so would my lover!

Finally.... somebody actually needs my help......... so DryspellDebbie if you are reading this...... I absolutely will! In fact.... I will make this my top priority .........and my next post. Well everybody I'm off to go search the darkest corners of the internet and do a little research.

Blog ya'll uncomfortably soon


  1. can I send you my problems to you also? I hope I get some crazy emails someday.....I'd call it my freak of the week post.

  2. I had no idea this was an option. Woohoo!

  3. Looking forward to the next post, should be quite entertaining. Is that button really a virus? Because I definitely almost clicked it until I saw the target URL haha.


  4. Well I have to warn you, Steve. My contacts tell me DrySpellDebbie is actually a guy... So be careful now. This 'girl'is aptly named if you know what I mean. Just trying to help...

    P.S. Did you hear about Bert and Ernie?

  5. Hah! You should consider starting an advice column. I'm always game for reading stupid questions.

  6. Is there a reason why someone would think you were a sex guru?

  7. Amazes me how many people take the time to send an email to be mean. There's a big red X button for a reason. Geez. And I'm all for the advice column have something going for you there!

  8. Just when I thought you were giving away vast amounts of cash like Pez, I looked further down and saw the actual check.

    It's not nice to be a tease kiddo.

  9. Love that screen shot.

    I don't care if it is DOS. It will still scare the shit out of a guy for a second.

  10. @todd carr.......freak of the week makes sense. And todd you can always send me any emails. weirder the better. bring it on!

    @angie.... this is definitely an option. Its really the only way to get back in touch with your more "high maintenance" readers

    @shane pilgrim.... that next post WILL be worthy. As for the virus... its 100% real... maybe?

    @RCB... thanks for the heads up! She's a he? dryspelldebbie is actually dryspelldan? I knew it!!! I bet its actually the same person as peoplethathateyou!

    @a beer for the shower..... I agree. I am thinking of writing a teen advice column about cuddling and heavy petting... its gonna be genius! On second thought maybe not?

    @gorilla bananas.... Good point. Im less a sex guru and more a sex begger!

    @the accidental somebody... Im starting to think about doing this. In fact Patrick (my blog partner computer wiz) if you are reading this... I need you to settup a blog suggestion box. Get on it.

    @Bodacious Boomer.... Hey that check is 100% legit. Side note... try the phone number on the check!!!!

    @Fred Miller.... hee hee. Its like Charlie Sheen would say. "Spreading viruses is fun!"