Friday, August 26, 2011

Tip #2 To spice up your sex life.... Food

Alright so heres tip number 2 to spice up your sex life everybody.      Food.
MMMM food! We all love to eat. With the possible exception of supermodels and maybe Dick Cheney  ( evil robots overlords only eat souls... right?) Whatever ........ obviously depending on what you eat... food can be both an exciting and often sensual experience... I guess sometimes even terrifying (see my "The Scary Flavors of Vegan Cooking" post)... moving on.
 Now according to various pot-bellied love gurus I spoke with...... food in the bedroom might just be what you need to spice up that love life of yours. Allow me to explain.

First off.... clearly we have all seen pictures of someone feeding somebody strawberry's or grapes or maybe an entire watermelon in an erotic way. And that.... is where you food virgins wanna start..... Try it for yourself. See if it turns your loved ones on..... Im betting it will... Go ahead .....

Uh.... now obviously....  Results may vary.

But that's just the beginning of the magic... So many many people find food erotic. And really it can be any kind of food.

For me I am a big fan of sexy hot soup in the bedroom.... Which sadly.... I am not legally allowed to further comment on.....

But enough about me...... Lets dig deeper. Food isn't just for stuffing your face with... it can be stupid romantic. And it always has been. In fact Hollywood has been keyed into this forever.....
 for example lets take Disney.....

Ah Lady and the Tramp ... sharing some spaghetti...... so romantic... so much so that later that night, their kennel neighbors reported hearing noises that could only be described as...
"The work of two tramps!"

But its not just Hollywood showing how food can get romantic juices flowing. For example.... in a blog exclusive ....... 

It can also get political juices flowing too!!!
Side note- this ad paid for by the
 "People trying to improve Palins image" fund

moving on......

 Now.... apparently one of the newest super sexy (yet slightly unsanitary) food rages is....literally eating food off of naked people..

Huh? Interesting I guess.

So why not try taking that from the restaurant to your bedroom?
Dip anyone?

I'm guessing that you are all taking notes by now.... sooo???? What else is sexy about food...Oh...What about wearing some food in the bedroom that might be both filling and sexy?

Well there are bacon bras? Delicious yet hard to cook?
And sprinkles.... In a surprising coincidence its her name and her talent. Who knew?

or try coming home to your lover wearing one of these outfits

Um....The bread outfit?
Not recommended for your lover on the Atkins diet

or maybe try on some waffle pants? Might work?
Its rumored to have gotten Aunt Jamima downright freeky!

But really its all as sexy as you want it to be (my camp counselor used to tell me)...... and healthy can be sexy too.....

From fruits

To veggies

To kamasutra chocolate? Wait what? That's not healthy!

Maybe try eating all sexy in front of your lover? 
Start maybe with pasta....

and the move on to sexy (and extremely messy) burger eating?
Pam likes it!

Its all up to ..... good luck to you freeky food person. Nobody's judging. At least not at this blog. I'm actually typing this and eating ribs at the same time... And that's just downright messy! Whatever... let me leave you with one last suggestion.... break out the whip cream.
it works.... jusk ask Fred


P.S. In all my research .......I did learn of one fairly major downside to bringing food into the bedroom....... Blog ya'll later


  1. sprinkled bottom and waffle pants are my favorite.

  2. There's a Russian charm school which teaches women how to eat a banana sexily. Wouldn't you rather watch a woman eat that eat yourself?

  3. These are all great. Still, I think the chocolate has to be melted to be sexy.

  4. I looked at these pics and, well. my stomach did a flip-flop. I thought it was me but, no, its you ;-)


  5. I was trying really hard to scroll past these pics quickly while reading the text between while I was at work yesterday. I thought I was doing okay until I heard my boss behind me say, "Nice Ang, real nice." So thanks for that. And now I'm hungry.

  6. I think food-play should have a section in every buffet!

  7. Those photos were seriously disturbing. What was the topic? All I remember was the naked; and it wasn't good naked, it was bad naked.

  8. The only thing I feed anyone in bed is sausage.

  9. Take it from me, do not experiment with Mexican food, especially if habaneros are involved...

  10. "Honey. I need bred. Wanna cum?"

    Sorry. Old joke. There may be someone who hasn't heard it yet.

  11. It would have been a little sexier if tons a fun with the grapes had been eating a ham sandwich

  12. I don't know about you, Steve, but eating makes me fall asleep, which is not conducive to great sex. It's food - yawn - couch - nap - waking up - lady's gone...

  13. Miss Sprinkle Ass looks like she's trying to hold in a big ol' shit. Just sayin...

  14. @todd carr.... sprinkle bottom is probably my favorite too!

    @Gorilla bananas..... Russian charm schools teach that... and actually exist? I would think charming in Russia is making a good borscht? But hey sexy banana-ing is way better!!

    @Linda Medrano.... melting the chocolate is much better.... a kind of human fondue!!

    @Left Coast Guy... sorry bout giving you the upset stomach.. was it Fred in the whip cream that did it?

    @Angie... hahaha!!! and sorry!!! Thats hilarious! O and by the way Angies boss... you know you liked it!!

    @Shockgrubz..... I think the playboy mansion probably has those kinda buffets.... somewhere Hef is grinning!!!

    @Bodacious Boomer... sorry? hee hee!!There definitely was just a little bad naked in there... huh! Well your welcome?

    @Tony Van Helsing.... wow!! Well played!! I am a huge fan of breakfast sausage?

    @A Beer For The Shower.... habaneros? huh? I never thought about spicy? I better explore this.... honey... Im sorry ahead of time!!!!

    @Fred Miller....haha.. never heard that... till now.

    @Elliot MacLeod Michael... I totally agree... or maybe like a whole ham?

    @ Daisy..... hey Daisy!!!! Glad you enjoyed!!!

    @RCB.... there is some serious truth to this!!! Maybe I should do a sex and energy drink post instead?

    @The Accidental Somebody...haha!!! Maybe just too many sprinkles?