Lets get right to it today. While walking to the movie theater downtown yesterday, I stumbled upon the worlds most unsanitary tailgate party... er.... an Occupy Portland rally.
So.. I stopped and listened. You see for me I believe the message is sound. Our financial system does need change. Big time!! However..... camping downtown like you are waiting for the Grateful Dead to start playing seemed like a "different choice" to get that message out?
People were partying.... people were drinking... people were smoking... It kinda looked like somehow the last person awake at every single party in town had converged to form one giant blackout?
And it smelled! It left me kinda hoping the riot police had brought their Febreeze rifles!!
But whatever! If acting like a giant congregation of carnies can help expedite change.... then "carnie on people". Now.... I was about to leave when they started chanting something very interesting. They started to slur... er... chant how they were taking the movement out of the parks and into the stores and cafes. No joke! That is what they said!
And its here I can help!! If occupying things and irritating the people of Portland will help to bring about nationwide change...... well........ then everybody.... I have 10 ideas!
1. First off ..... Occupy Elevators ... Seriously! Just go fill up every elevator in town... People would notice!.. Who enjoys a crowded smelly elevator.. right?
2. Or maybe Occupy Jukeboxes. Simply panhandle for quarters... then go to every bar in town..... and pick bad songs to play on repeat ... over and over!
That's making me mad just thinking about it!
3. Or... here's one... Occupy the Fast Lane...... It's simple..... Drive slow in the fast lane! Everywhere! How freakin' maddening would this be.... plus its perfect for your elder occupiers!
4. or... Occupy the World of Warcraft. Gamers everywhere would be so mad if it was too busy for them to get online!!! If you took away their ability to "level up" they would definitely listen to your demands!!!
5. How bout ...... Occupy the Changing Rooms at the Mall..... No one would enjoy that!! Plus its perfect for that creepy occupier in your rally!!
6. You could Occupy Marijuana Dispensories everywhere! Wait! Completely disregard!!! My sources tell me this is already happening!
7. and you could also Occupy Express Lines at Grocery Stores ..... Man that would suck!! Bonus points if you have way more than twelve items!
8. Occupy a Doctors Office! ...... I know Stacy didn't appreciate it!!!
9. Hmm...... what else? Maybe go Occupy A Freeway?
9b. or Occupy Parking?
I hate that one!!!
And that brings us to # 10! So finally......
and very regrettably....
Maybe someone should just go Occupy the Locker Room at Penn State.... cause clearly...... they could use an extra set of eyes...
And on that note.... thats it for today! so good luck to you wherever you are protesting everybody!
Blog ya'll later!