Thursday, January 5, 2012

A Short Picture Story Including Narcoleptics, Crutches, and Cankles?

Welcome back to the blog everyone. 

Now..... I realized yesterday that I forgot to share with you all something that happened to me over the holidays........ 

Something that has happened to me more than a few times in my life.

Something I guess.... that kinda makes me who I am...

Probably as much as being right handed?

Or color blind! (pastels only)

Or a lover of spicy Chinese food.

Or a reckless narcoleptic.

This guy knows what Im talking about......

This guy too!!!

Regardless.... its a condition I live with....
You see I hurt my feet frequently.... turned ankles, pulled muscles, dinged up toes..... whatever....

And please save your cankle jokes!!!!

Basically somehow this holiday season... I pulled a tendon in my foot! 

Now....according to this one obscure "Doctoring for the Lazy" website I found... the only way to heal it was to get off it.... to relax!

So I did! In fact I spent the majority of my holiday..... being waited on by loved ones ... er..... resting my foot.

And I gotta say my girlfriend was amazing. 
She truly was. 
She put up the tree herself... 
Wrapped the presents herself...... 
Hung the Christmas lights herself........ 

And you know what.....  

One day when the ball game was on... er... my foot hurt really bad...
she even got me a bell to ding whenever I needed something....
And all was well...... 

That was until I lost "my bell privileges " after about 8 dings.
(true story)

You see she had had it.... 
( Helpful hint everyone- stop at 7 dings!!)

Anyways... she up and left on an errand?

And just as I was getting comfortable....

You know healing up..... 

My girlfriend came home with......

And my rehab was over........

In what can be only be describes as an "expletive explosion" she informed me it was time to be up and mobile...... and helping out again.

So I was....

And she was happy.

Sure I made some "alterations" to my crutches.

And yes.... it was still difficult from time to time... getting around.

I mean getting home from the bar was no easy task!

But I made do..... and I thought to myself....
.... if douchy figure skaters can use em...
And water sports enthusiasts can water sport with em....

And amazingly those ass-hole terrorists are still fighting with them.. Man when will they give up?

Well then I could to!

And so I did!

Now fast forward to now...
Eventually I healed up...... 
And I didn't need my crutches anymore....

But...... what did I do with those crutches you ask?

Well I found a good place for them....

And you know... they are surprisingly useful?

I even built something as a kind of thank you to my girlfriend!

Hey I did say I get injured a lot!!

And that's it for the story.... till next time......
And remember everybody... always hang on to a good pair of crutches...
Cause you never know when you are gonna need em?

My guess is this guys about to!!!

blog ya'll later!


  1. I've learned that men are complete babies and totally useless when they are sick and injured - your girlfriend deserves a gold medal.

    Glad to see your on the mend Mad Man!

  2. This was hilarious! I learned the "Stop at seven rings"thing long ago but ringing the bell is like crack--so hard to stop.

  3. I lost my bell privileges too. My husband doesn't even let me ding the bells in hotel lobbies when you're trying to check in/out and no one is there. If you can't even ding the bell at a hotel where the hell can you?!

  4. Your girlfriend is a saint. I would have killed you and dismembered your body after a couple of hours.

  5. Very good, glad you're more mobile again....funny.

  6. Well if you ever need a spare crutch looks like you have many lying about. That fence is intense..haha I'll remember the 7 dings too.

  7. I've learned to ration my dings and the many uses of crutches. Fun and informative.

  8. My ankles turn really easily and I've had to deal with crutches before...if only I could have had a holder for my whiskey (oh wait, I was 16!)

  9. That's some surprising creativity to come from crutches. Glad you're all healed up there though. Plus beer crutches are awesome. Though a beer hat would have worked too.

  10. Great story and photos! My daughter was always pulling ligaments etc. and staying off it was the worst thing. You got to walk it away apparently. It's painful though.

  11. I have two pairs of crutches.
    I keep having knee problems.

    But I don't ding a bell. I call my family with my cell phone and they come see what I want.

    Love the guy water skiing with crutches.

  12. That's one hell of a post, Steve. I just hope you're... pulling our leg :)

  13. Unfortunately since I can stumble and fall over a shadow I'm all to familiar with crutches.

    However I've now decided that should I break myself in the future I'm just going to hire some Sherpas to carry me about. I figure 4 should be about right.

  14. A beer holder on crutches... this sounds awesome!

  15. Haha wow that beer hold that's pretty funny

  16. haha LOL! ;D neither men or women should be given these bells! ;D

    fun post :)

  17. The beer holder is a great idea. Just drink until the pain goes away!

  18. I would just like to say that I more than approve of the alterations. Also, this post was hilarious haha

    - Ash

  19. This is a riot! I love the "alteration"! Now THAT is creative work at its best!!

  20. I'll start keeping my cankle jokes to myself when they start making mumus into proper full-length robes.