Monday, June 18, 2012

#1 of 14 The Furniture War

Here we are at #1
My favorite post....


A post that "Garage Sale Magazine" reviewed as....
"A disturbingly sad post that must have led to the Most Perverted Garage Sale Ever!!"


Anyways here it is....
The Furniture War


Lets get right to it today..... shall we?
You see.... moving day is fast approaching for me....
And the lady and I.....  have been spending  time "going through each of our our worldy possessions" ......


It seems we might have too much stuff to be able to bring everything on over to the new place? 


And ... according to my lady.... some of our old stuff might not work within the "new style" of place we are moving into?


Huh? I guess that makes sense?


So some stuff will make it.
Other stuff will sadly not!
I get it!


And you know... 
The one positive about old stuff that doesn't make it....


...is it's so much easier to move!


But whatever..... here's what I wanted to talk about...
You see yesterday.....  while relaxing.... 
Eating some take-out Chinese food....


Watching any one of those 18 different shows on Discovery Channel filmed in Alaska..... 
You know the shows...  staring creepy men you wouldn't let anywhere near your children.
 (I think it was called Anchorage Dental Gold) 


Anyways THAT is when it all started!


That was when I was first informed that..... 
 My chair wasn't gonna fit with THE LOOK of the new place!
What?


My Rhino chair???
How could this not make the cut.....I asked myself?




Oh but it didn't stop there.... Nope!
Also not making the cut was my beloved dresser....


She apparently found it "too aggressive?"



And my book shelf ..... which she said was...
Quote....."Really creepy at night!"
It was out too!!!


And to top that...
She even wanted the "chair I had from college" gone...
Which really hurt...
...cause of all the wonderful and often "surprising" memories I made with that chair!


Now I must admit I was beginning to become angry. 
A pattern was developing. 
All MY STUFF was getting the axe. 


Well... two could play that game I thought....


So you know what..... two did play that game!


And I quickly informed her that for me..... 
Her lamp didn't make "my cut" ... and IT needed to go!


First off I found it emasculating ....
and really didnt appreciate where they had chosen to put the on/off switch!




She countered by rejecting my table.....




Not my Star Trek table!!!


So I struck back..... 
And rejected her awful awful chandeliers!!!!!
Which I always hated!!


To this she quickly grew upset ....
And told me  "If I have to get rid of the only thing I have left that reminds me of Carlos.... than your other stupid chair is gone too!!"
Wait I thought... who was Carlos... and dear god why did that chandelier remind her of him?


But I would never get that answer....
We went on to throw out piece after piece of furniture...


She would toss out one of my chairs...


And I would toss one of her weird mens ab chairs?


She would toss out my "hand crafted" wine cabinet...


And I would get rid of her weird Mermaid couch....


She would toss out my "crotch nightstand"....




And I would toss out her weird man-shelf?
Man I hated that thing!




And then....
Well then it happened.... we just plain ran out of furniture to eliminate...
And all was well again!


So what did we do?
Well....we made up.... 
And discovered a nice "furniture compromise" on the set-up of our new place....


This one....


And thats where we are....
Furniture- less.... but happy!


Now the important thing was nobody won The Furniture War...
Though between you and me....  I did figure out a way to keep at least one piece of my furniture.... I just "modified it"...


And for that I proclaim myself
the winner!!!


Anyways enjoy your furniture everybody...
Cause you never know when a furniture war will find you!
And blog ya'll later!


Back with new material Wednesday....



18 comments:

  1. I remember that the Star Trek table was one of the greatest things I had ever seen. If you actually own one of those hold on tight to it man.

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  2. I feel like your lady and I need to go furniture shopping together. She finds some really great pieces.

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  3. haha that chandelier is still quite bright and umm hangy.

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  4. Funny and I still love that grenade dresser!

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  5. Still funny. I always get a bang out of your posts. Looking forward to new stuff.

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  6. where can I buy me that men-shelf and is it legal?

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  7. hahaha. Do these designers get paid for this?
    Can we babyproof these chairs? Especially if you have emasculating switch one, no babies right?
    Where do you get these pictures? darn funny

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  8. Yeah, this post IS a classic! You'd better hope Carlos never makes a reappearance, guy.

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  9. This was a great post! Thanks for keeping us involved during your sort-of-blogging-break. I have to say - that chandelier is magnificent! See you Wednesday!

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  10. Furniture is nice. It's always nice.
    Well, I don't like chucking furniture out, but it gives a breather to the house.

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  11. That's a great way to get rid of a couch. Unless you live over a nursery school. Or petting zoo. Which is hosting a field trip. By a nursery school.

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  12. Ha great post, couldn't tell if you college chair had a well place hole or not.
    Cheers, Sausage...

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  13. Still love those pics, Steve. Here's some scrabble furniture to add to your collection...

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