Monday, June 11, 2012

#4 of 14 The Dog Post

Heres my 4th favorite....
A post that kinda....


... TUGS at both your heart strings and your infants....


Its The Dog Post


So my girlfriend wants to get a dog!!!


Yep....
She wants one of those furry little monsters!!!
I know right???
What the hell???
Well its as she put it.....
 "I need SOMEONE in this house to actually listen to me!!!" 
"Huh?" I responded...


Anyways...
Why a dog I thought??
Am I not mess enough?


I can only imagine she wants someone she can finally dress up in girly ways???....


Ughh!


Or maybe someone to share beauty products with.....


Though.... personally I think hooker red...
 only serves to cheapen a proud Schnauzer... 


Well...... Whatever...
I'm not sold!!!
You see... I see being a dog owner differently...
I see it as more of a...


Potential problem.....


And a huge freekin commitment!!!!

I mean.... do you have a long enough leash?


And don't even get me started on grooming it...


Cause doggie overalls don't shave themselves!!!

And what about exercising it?
Do you have the proper room for it to run?

and run.... 
and run....
and run....
and run....
...till you get home?

I dont know?
There's just SO much that goes into owning a dog these days.....


Like how often should I take my "fluffy little foot-rest" to doggy therapy? 
I really have no idea!!!


Do I know of a good vet???




Or I guess..... Parts store?



And do I have enough extra money to put in...

A dog-lift?
Seriously???


Oh and these days you also have to "socialize your dog" apparently?
Give it some friends!
Well..... do I have enough time to make friends for my dog?


On line!!!!


(side note- Fredrick here "likes" this post!!!)



Now.... even if Im o.k. with doing all that stuff....
Is my place even "safe" for that little mutt to live in?
 This lady thought hers was.....

But she was wrong!

(sigh)
Ugh...
Well then I thought...


I haven't even thought about "what kind of dog to get?"

Cause some of these suckers got energy to spare....

Im probably better off with a more.....

Relaxed breed...

Oh this is exhausting just thinking about....
I cant even imagine how tiring it would be owning one....

This lady knows EXACTLY how tiring!!!



Well I needed some time to think...
Some time away....
So I went to go play a game of "Workplace Milk-Crate Tetris"!

Which always helps to clear my mind!!!

And it hit me!!!!
Im looking at this all wrong!!
Maybe a dog would benefit me!!!
But in ways I never imagined?
Cause there must be a reason everyone loves dogs!!!

Its cause "Dogs LOVE Everybody!!!"

They do...
And apparently... most OTHER ANIMALS even love dogs too!!

Like surprisingly DOLPHINS do??
Who knew... right??
Well they do.....

And that could only help me... 
when I go DOLPHIN FISHING!!!

(side note- only one "curious" dolphin harmed in the making of this post)

The more I thought about it....
It could be great... 
I could hang out with my other "pet crazy friends"!

Ya... I could let my little rascal play with THEIR house pets...
Their birds.... 
and their cats... 
and their snakes....

Which might be regrettable???
But whatever!


Theirs just so much a good dog could do for me...
Like cheer me on....

when I most need it.....

And offer me encouragement....


Afterwards!!!


They could bring me things....

Which would be delicious!

And when I would take em on walks I could....

Load that sucker up.....

They could make me laugh when Im feeling down!

Oh "Mr. Peeper" your such a prankster!!

And they could make me laugh when THEY are feeling down....


He would always know just what to do!!!


Ahhh. Its sounding better and better....
Well its too early to say if we will be getting a dog at this point...
But its a definite maybe for me...


And if it ends up true what everyone says...
 " A dog is mans best friend"
Well Im on the lookout for one that could fill that description...


And I will letcha all know if I find him!!


And on a surprisingly positive and "cute" note???
Which I think is a blog first?
I better go drink some battery acid or something before next time...
Ah whatever...
Blog ya'll later

17 comments:

  1. I don't understand people who dress up their dogs, but I do love how the one on the fat chick is indifferent to her suffering.

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  2. I almost gagged when the lady (term used loosely) with the um perch? crossed my screen. In fact, threw up in my mouth thinking about it. I say let her get a dog if she is the one that cleans up it's shit. If it happens to double as a dust mop and crumb vacuum... bonus. But dogs in dresses is embarrassing for you and really the dog loses all respect it may have had for you the moment you think it need to be humanized.

    and since I haven't said so in a while... you are awesome. That is all

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  3. Love the doggie overalls, although I wonder if this is actually animal abuse.

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  4. I would never put my dogs in dresses. They are all males. However, they love to wear bandannas and when we lived in a cold climate, they loved sweaters -- blue sweaters to match my blue coat. They always asked for blue.

    Love,
    Janie

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  5. Dogs can be grand, but watch out when entering the cat's land.

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  6. The last dog is badass. I would love to train my dog to be badass, if I had one.

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  7. Brilliant...I have two of the lazy, thieving, farting, smelly bastards myself but I love the feckers!

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  8. LOL! You ramble too well!
    Jeez, I wanted a dog some years ago. But then, we lived in a big house. Not this frickin', apartmentish, box.

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  9. The dog dilemma. Did you get one? I'm with you on your first half of the blog. Too much trouble. Too much fur. Too much shite.
    But in saying that...you gotta love the faithful things.

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  10. LOL! ;D another fun post.

    I trained my dog to high-five me. That way I'll always have smoeone who does that no matter what ;D

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  11. That one pic made me sick in my mouth...

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