The Inside The Mind Post

I have decided to do something totally different today.... something Ive never done before. We are going to literally step inside the Mind of a Madman.... Hear some of my thoughts (dear god).... I don't know it just might get a little weird.... And grab a flashlight... It gets dark in here........

Im hungry


Im really hungry

Cant wait for the burgers to be done


Why do I have to cook em?


This stupid vegan patty is falling apart

I hope Jenny doesnt show up

Oh man!!! She's here!

She looks good 

but why wont she return my calls

better turn the burgers

I shouldnt have any more beer... gettin saucy

this beers good

o here she comes

hey

youre right I am within 50 feet

I will leave after the burgers


That was kinda mean

hold it together dont cry

shes walking away. whew

better flip the burgers

oh man I dropped one

the ground is filthy

nobody saw


pick it up

burgers ready everybody

oh here she comes again

uh....this special burgers for you Jenny

Time to go before shes tastes the rocks and the dog hair

I love BBQ's

This concludes our quick look into the mind of a madman. Was there a lesson there.... I think so everybody. Never mess with the cook.


In fact... this message was brought to you in part by pissed off cooks everywhere!

blog ya'll later

I wonder if people read this blog naked

Im hungry

Time to turn off the computer

The Father's Day Post...

Ah its Father's Day........ that special day across our great country to celebrate (or mourn) paternity test results everywhere. Even you carnie dad. 


It's beautiful... how on this day, ladies will reluctantly call off their child support bounty hunters... just long enough to spend the day with their baby daddy.  And it usually includes giving dad a few bad ties, maybe some "adult time" and for one day stop nagging him to "go get a freekin job". What a bizarre yet strangely American holiday?


 Now I don't know who created it originally... but we can clearly rule out a few people. Anyone working for the Lifetime channel, or one of Oprah's minions..... or anyone attending one of countless stripper support groups across the country...You know groups like "Strippers Tackling Daddy-issues" .... or STD's for short.... Helpful info alert..... for you recovering dancers .....Here's the first step to stripping freedom they will tell you at your very first meeting.... get out of the club.... Cinnamon here is well on her way to recovery..... uh... moving on.

Now I don't have any kids of my own... the courts won't allow it ......so I celebrate each year with some golfing, a few beers, and often times some BBQ .... kind of a typical Saturday for me but with dad ..... And we have a great day.... It's true... I got lucky. My Dad is one of the good Dads out there.... at least that's what my therapist keeps telling me. So I thought since I did a post about the worst moms for mothers day... the worst reverends for church day..... and the worst doctors for colonoscopy day (voted worst holiday 2007) I thought it was only fitting to do one about the worst dads. Here we go.... and happy Fathers Day pops! 

Now lets start with this one. This Dad's got it figured out. He put his kids to work right away. Building work ethic..... and squishing soft head spots.

And then this Dad....he is building something totaly else. Death for his entire family. He just doesn't know it yet. Seriously look at the focus from this future serial killer.

And this Dad.... who e-harmony tells me is available ladies. His interests include dancing, dancing, dancing, collecting stamps, dancing, dancing....etc.

But being a Dad is about the relationship with your kids my inside sources say.... If not it would be Man's Day (patent pending).... so lets take a quick look see into the relationship between fathers and their kids. Enjoy.

They teach them to shop.

They make them their costumes.  

And then even more inappropriate costumes

They spend quality time with them

Even more quality time 

They "Red neck em" ..... er... teach em to shoot Arkansas style. Notice how the gun is pink. Perfect for a little-in.

and then punish them when necessary..... right the third world?

Alternate Punishment 

but being a good Dad is really about your family and always setting a good example.... totally unlike the Dads below!!! Let me leave you all with the three worst Dads on the internet.

Tranny Dad is kind of a bummer.... but totally helps teach his daughters about makeup.

Unfaithful dad.... had it coming. He is current not enjoying Father's Day. But this did get me thinking about sandwich boards and people wearing signs..... who is wearing the worst sign ever?

This guy...... but surprisingly informative....

anyways ..... here's the worst Dad hands down....

Happy Father's Day everybody..... Blog ya'll later