How To Get Rid Of A Gold Digger

So I interrupt my top ten ways to spice up your sex life posts to bring you something a bit more personal.... so bare with me. You see my brother recently ended a "relationship?" with a gold digger. You all know the kind..... Someone who enters your world and claims to be all in to you.... but secretly is just all about your bank account. 

I know what you are thinking.... "Is he o.k.? Them gold diggers can be viscous." 
He is...  thanks for asking.... But how exactly did he do it? Cause we all know.. a gold digger can be hard to trap and often harder to get rid of ... Well.... Im gonna share just that with you... Ready? Here it is ......  a few easy steps to get rid of that digger in your life.. 


1. First identify suspect person as a true gold digger. Its normally very easy.... just look for the signs.... 

For example marrying the rich and deathly ill....

2. Then once identified.... let it slip you have stashed a huge pile of cash and family jewels... somewhere in the house?

3. Doing o.k. so far? Alright! Now.... choose a door to be painted gold... preferably a basement door... or any door that leads to the outside!

4. And put a sign on it that says "gold inside... keep out!"

5. Now its just time to wait.... trust me it wont take long... your digger will eventually get curious and open that door.... 


When they do.... quickly slam it shut and lock it behind them.... 

5. Its that easy.......Sure it might take a slight push? but whatever...
 Now..... what is behind the gold door is up to you. Obviously it could be simply the door outside.... 

but we can do better than that... cant we?

Maybe its the basement door ?

and the basement stairs have seen better days?

or maybe its the old trapdoor..... 

 into a cage.....

"caged digger"

or...maybe... just maybe..... its just a door to absolutely nowhere.

Any which way you are now free of your gold digger... like we are...


But remember.. if you decide to go the "cage a gold digger" route..
Make sure to taunt .......
blog ya'll later

Tip #3 To spice up your sex life.... Different places

• Here we are .... on to tip number three to spice up your sex life.... Different Places. Lets get started. Now...... most of us get all romantical in the comfort of our own home.... in our bedroom..... with maybe the dog oddly watching.... but whatever....... apparently..... according to some freeks.... er.... adventurous people I talked to.... there's nothing better than gettin all naked with your special someone out in public. So after some extensive research and a couple Public Indecency tickets I have compiled some wonderful (and some questionably wonderful) information on the topic. I could say a bit more but really shouldn't I just get to the shocking pictures of people doing it in public right? All right..... here we go....

So your ready to explore sexitime outside? Well....Why not start at the beach. With mother nature....... so freeing... so peaceful... 

so romantic......

Yet.... often so telling!

or....  maybe you should try taking "outdoor sexitime" to the park?

Like these two classy loverbirds did.

Now if you do head to the park.... heres my helpful hint number one... remember to UNTIE all loved ones! ...moving on.

Hmmm.... where else can you go?........ are you not afraid of heights?

Well then try the roof of the Unilodge.... where their motto is
"We'll leave the roof unlocked and lubed for ya"

Or.... do you have kids.... yet still want a little "adult time?"

Problem solved!!!!

Now maybe..... just maybe.... you are more classy than roofs and childrens pizza parlors..... how bout public bathroom stall action? Like at the baseball game?

I call this one...the seventh inning stretch

and then I found this. Awe.... who doesn't love office romances?

This guy sure does... just through binoculars....from the building across the way

Alright.... its at this point in the post.... where I am starting to have... uh....lets call them second thoughts on the subject matter.... you see its just.... Well......Does anyone else feel like with these 10 different Posts on Spicing Up Your Sex Life..... this blog has somehow turned into a bad issue of Cosmo or something? FML... 


side note-- be on the lookout for my "How To Loose the Baby Weight Yet Keep The Boobs Post".... coming soon.....dear god..... moving on..... back to the sexitime


Hey pervs... er... voyeuristic lovers....why not get back to the basics... Camping with a loved one......

and then you can get back to your rooftops.

or maybe.... then take the best tram ever!!!!!

999 out of 1000 tram riders agree!

really anywhere will do.... but be careful....

Google Earth may find you!!

You could try an amphitheater I guess... 
Maybe during a Creed show?....
  You should have plenty of room these days.....

or maybe after hours.... right where you work..... 
My sources tell me.... it does have its benefits!

New server Becky just made management. Congrats Becky!!!

And.... you didnt think I would forget about the car did you?

Always a classic.... 
Hint number two..... just remember to hit the car wash
 before next Sunday's church service.... or you'll get some dirty looks. Seriously!!

Ah... well time to wrap this up....Now from all the ones I found..... which is my favorite you ask?

This one!!! 

That's it for today... but remember if outdoor sexitime just isn't you..... dont worry... There's still hope. You can work yourself up to it. Just start small...

Start with shadow puppets!!

Blog ya'll later