Wednesday, March 28, 2012

The Breakfast Post

So Im just gonna come out and say it...
I believe in alien mind control!!!
No wait.... 
Wait...
That's for a totally different post....
um...


Today's post was supposed to be....
 How I freekin love breakfast....
Yep breakfast!!
Man do I love it....
Don't we all?
Well the other day I woke up in my breakfast themed sheets...


These ones....


And realized I wanted to get stupid good at cooking breakfast!




Now...  sadly Ive never been a very good cook...


Sure I've perfected cooking the occasional frozen pizza...




When I didn't fall asleep cooking it?


But whatever...
It was time to move passed that.
I was time to become a breakfast CHEF!


So this is the story of how I unleashed that inner chef I always new I had in me.....




And to very clear.... it was nothing like this guys inner chef!!!


Moving on...
So.... the other morning I sprang outta bed... 
and took a quick morning shower....


That included just a "minor head injury" from a slip in the tub..


And I strapped on my Star Wars apron... and got after it...
Side note- Vader helmet only recommended for "advanced chefs"!


Now my first attempt was a failure I admit...


And after a "small-ish?" kitchen fire on my second attempt....
I realized I needed some help....


So I decided to get some cooking tips....
And as always I turned to the internet... 
and it was...well...  informative?


I learned of a thing called a donut bath?
Huh?
I guess that's breakfast related?

And I learned of a Cheerios facial????
Which I found more disturbing than helpful really???




So I then turned to the library...


And found this book....
Which was very helpful... for me..
but not the dog!


And everything began to make sense....
So.... armed with all this new information I began to cook!!!


And you know what?
It started to click.
And I started to cook really well!!!
And surprisingly...... creative even!!!


I made Star Wars pancakes...

And bacon roses...

I even cooked a European inspired breakfast.....


Which was actually pretty easy?


I cooked a Twilight themed breakfast ...
Which I deeply regret!
In fact I would have fed that to the dog...
But even if he was still with me...
I don't think he would have eaten it!!!


But whatever.....
I moved on...


I moved on to cook a delicious video game themed breakfast!!
Man it was so addictive!


There was nothing I couldn't do!!


I even learned how to take toast....


To the next level!!!


All was right in the world.... 
My dream was realized!!!


 I was a breakfast ARTIST!


I could simply crack an egg....


And I could make anything!

In fact.... I couldn't STOP cooking I loved it so much... 
So I bought a ton of eggs....

And made a quick egg couch outta them!!!
It was perfect!!
And I hadn't even cooked them yet!!!!


But then...
Well then it happened!!!!


I cooked the PERFECT BREAKFAST!!


And I knew...
 I was time to stop...


It could never get more perfect than this...


The Jesus pancake!!!


Which I proudly call my "miracle of breakfast."


And...


 maybe??


 What others might call....


Some jackass who hasn't learned how to clean the dishes properly!


But we will tackle proper "dish-washing"  some other day...
And until then...
Blog ya'll later!

18 comments:

  1. That donut bath looks a lot like something me and my sister may have been involved in one night...

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  2. I don't know what I want more, the Star Wars pancake or the Jesus pancake.

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  3. Great picture collection as always,and of course, the final Jesus displays were awesome!

    A friend of mine used to make all sorts of funny shaped pancakes - little rabbits and other cute animals. They looked ok but tasted nasty - I guess the recipe is sort of more important than the pretty shape ;-)

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  4. LOL wow you got very inventive, fruit loop face looked impressed.

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  5. I am now morbidly curious about your 'inner chef', is it an ugly bald chick or depressed cross-dresser (e.g. the actual dude from Crying Game)?

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  6. Ok I was laughing so hard at this I about pee'd myself. Which would have been unfortunate as I don't wear depends.
    Thanks for the laugh my friend!

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  7. I don't particularly like being given flowers, but If anyone wants to send me bacon roses I'll happily accept them.

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  8. I'm pretty absentminded in the mornings. Hell, today I even burned my Frosted Flakes.

    Jay

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  9. Just putting it out there, if anyone can make me the Star Wars themed pancakes AND bacon roses, I will go down on him or her. But I am toothie. Lots of enamel.
    And I didn't know Europeans had apples. So weird. Jaggermeister, obviously Slovakian, but apples? Weird.

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    Replies
    1. My lips are sealed, that's for sure, Mr Pickleope! Steve, he's obsessed with porn. Be careful, buddy.

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  10. You goof. :-)

    Pearl

    p.s. I can vouche for the bacon roses, btw. I've had them, and they're both delicious AND nutritious.

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  11. This who,e thing made my boobs tingle in a completely non sexual way. I think it was the bacon. Makes me feel alive.

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  12. I burn things down every time I try to cook. Like the kitchen.

    No, wait...

    Mom!!!!!!!!

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  13. Let's be honest here, who HASN'T tried cooking breakfast meat with the clothes iron?

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  14. I made my daily espresso with my moka-machine ones and I forgot to put water in it. I overslept and woke up with a terrible burnt plastic smell and I cried because I wanted my coffee but had no machine to make one... :-(((( :-DDDD

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  15. Starwars pancakes!!! I'm going to have to build/cook/eat one of those

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  16. I'm having breakfast for dinner tonite! Some french toast. I might whip up some bacon roses for the wife and have a fire lit.... er...I mean candle lit dinner!

    I like to steam press my waffles!

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