Friday, May 4, 2012

Super Powers Are Real!!! ..... Pictures To Prove It!!

So I have been mostly at home this week...
Spending time with my new puppy...
Spending time training that little pain in my... ...er... lovable fur-ball!


And I must say its been going pretty well....
The key, I'm learning, is being prepared with a new dog...
But also....


Learning how to improvise too!!


Anyways since I have been busy this week...
 I hadn't thought about what to write about.
And then it hit me!!


Since "The Avengers" is coming out this week.
Arguably the biggest superhero movie ever made...
I should do a superhero post!!!


So I asked myself.... and Google...
Are there real life super heroes living today??
... and .... 
Why yes there are!!!!
Allow me to show you...


First off I searched for people with... Invisibility Power...
And boy did I find some...


I found this "great to hang at parties" guy!

And this "can never move from that exact spot or the effect is ruined" guy..... whose actually pretty boring!!


And then this girl who brought invisibility.....


To a whole new "depressing level"....


Next I searched for ... The Power to Control Animals....


And found this lady....
....who currently controls over 30 cats!!!
All the while driving around....
 in her "cat urine soaked" super-car!


And as always battling her arch nemesis....
Evil Soccer Mom!!!


Who keeps score "her way" of her cat-battle victories!!


Oh and while on the topic of animal powers....
I found this kid with a horrific animal power..... 
and... uh...
(I just apologize ahead of time for this picture!)


Cause don't ever mess with "Rat-Baby"!!! 


Ugh...
lets move on from that shall we...
And on to...
The power of .... Creating Fire!!!
Woohoo!!


Well here's a girl.... who....
"With the right hairspray"..
.... can burst into flames at a moments notice!



Or here's this girl who can literally "create fire outta sparks"........


ANYWHERE she goes!!


But don't worry.... she will always send a....


Condolence cake afterward...




Man I couldn't believe all the powers I was finding...
So I searched on....
And found even more....






Like the power to Fly..


And the power to Control Metal objects....


As they relate to a cheating ex boyfriend....

Then I found this guy.... with the power...

to Feel absolutely No Pain!!!
Wow!!

I found an amazing archer...
...who has the Power of Extreme Precision with her arrows!!!

Which is way better than this guys "arrow power"....

A douchebag ...er.. man with many ex-lovers.... 
 All probably wishing his arrow came "penicillin-tipped"!!!


I then found this amazing...
 unbelievable...
crazy...
 power of....


 Reading???
which...
 is not a power actually..
uh....
 disregard..
And lets move on...




So move on I did.... 
and...
I found this guy..... Dr. Hypnotic...
 who specializes in "all kinds of mind control"...
From people....


....to ALL kinds of animals...
Huh??




And so he puts them all into his trance..
And makes them do weird things...
Basically whatever he wants....
And really what he wants.....
Is...
Well..
It's just to....
Amuse himself!!
What a sicko!!

And come to think of it...
That's almost like an "evil superpower"...


Now.... I have always wondered...
 How do you know if you are going to end up...
 a super VILLAIN one day?


Well trust me....there are signs!!


...that start at an early age...
And that's it...
 Hopefully this has convinced you that superpowers are real...


But remember power can sometimes be a curse too..
 Take the story of  "the real life Aquaman"...
A troubled man...
A man whose power is said "to control the fishes and the sea"...
Well his story is sad!
Cause... he was always such a mess...
But beginning to get his life together...


In fact he had been getting hypnotherapy to help him quit...


his underwater smoking and drinking habits....


AND... he was beginning to build....
.... himself a water based transport.... 
...to let him finally do more than just...
 "float around in the damn stupid sea..."




When he met his untimely demise... at the fins of....


HYPNOTIZED SHARKS AND PIRANHA!!


Cause he hadn't paid his hypnotherapy bill!
 Damn you Dr Hypnotic!!!!


Well the moral of his story is- 
Don't have the power to control fish...
 Cause fish don't have money... 
And then you cant pay your hypnotherapy pill....


THE END


P.S. I saw The Avengers movie and rate it four stars!!
It was excellent.... 
Robert Downey Jr... and The Hulk steal the show! 
The end half hour is amazing....
Almost as amazing as my..... 


Pizza... which I reviewed as "hard to sneak in"!


And on that note...
Blog ya'll later!

17 comments:

  1. The pizza guy is my new hero. Costume's a bit lacking though.
    I also thought the poor invisible girl was hilarious. Well done.
    If I had a superhero name, I'd be called "The Human Body Liver" able to consume more alcohol than 10 homeless people, more powerful than a single vomit.

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  2. Cat Lady and Rat Boy should get together.

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  3. I would like to meet the guy who has the power to feel no pain. I think I might be able to steal his power and use it for myself!

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  4. Ewww to the rats and even I would not want all those cats. The arrow with the feet girl takes talent. The avengers was awesome and yep, ironman and the hulk were the best.

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  5. My favorite thing about your picture stories is that I never know what to expect, regardless of the topic at hand. Well done as usual, Steve.

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  6. Don't worry; I'm sure that puppy will have you trained in no time.

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  7. Let's not forget the ultimate superpower, the most rare of all. Common Sense. Though I do love the fire cake. I hope to send one, but never receive one.

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  8. I want that cake! I need it!!!

    Um, not because I've set (a few) people on fire.

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  9. That lady archer has definitely learned stuff from apes. I'm going through my photo album, I may have been her toe trainer.

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  10. OMG! I can't deal with one cat's fur everywhere... how can the lady in that picture handle that?!?! ;D

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  11. Some of these pictures are absolutely crazy! But... I think if you had shared one of you getting out of the pool, with your "sopping wet undies and crotch-watch", it would have won the prize!

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  12. I can't wait for the avengers

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  13. I always thought super villainy seemed way more fun than super heroism.
    According to a friend of mine who's in the marines, there is an actual invisibility cloak in the works somewhere in the world.....

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  14. I was not expected to be so in love with you this early on. This was my first time on your blog and you have me hooked.

    Good luck with your new puppy!

    Also, I spent the majority of my childhood waiting for my superpowers to kick in. Obviously, they did.

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  15. As usual my friend you had me rolling! Nicely done. Sorry I haven't had a chance to swing by earlier. It's been a bit nutso over here!

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  16. The girl who brought invisibility to a whole new level hahahaha! That's mean. Mean but funny. Funny is good. That archer girl mean business, I can tell.

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